Odd Squad -Batman Crossover
by Flying Saucers
Summary: When Odd Todd goes to Gotham City to learn the finer points of villainy from The Joker, can Batman and Odd Squad thwart their malevolent plans?
1. Chapter 1

It was a peaceful, sunny day in Gotham City, perfect weather for the Annual Gotham Benevolent Society Father-Son Picnic And Charity Fundraiser. As the potato sack race was winding down, a half-dozen hefty policemen were straining to carry an enormous veiled object to the stage. Commissioner Gordon stood at the dais, sorting through his notes and adjusting his microphone.

"May I have your attention..." There was a squeal of feedback from the microphone. "May I have your attention, please!" The crowd quieted, looking up at the white-haired gentleman. "I've just received word that this year we've collected over fifty thousand dollars in donations!" There was applause from the audience. "And I would like to thank millionaire Bruce Wayne, seated here with his young ward Dick Grayson" he gestured to the duo seated behind him holding small trophies for coming in third in the peanut-rolling contest. "Both for his generous monetary contribution and for this," he pulled the cover off the object the policemen had placed on the stage. "This giant solid gold piggy bank encrusted with precious gems, into which your money has been placed for safekeeping!"

The crowd 'oohed' appreciatively.

"The piggy bank and the money therein will be turned over to the Gotham City Orphanage and Foundlings Home, where it will be..."

"WUXTRY!"

Startled, the Commissioner searched for the source of the interruption, finally spotting a old fashioned newsboy in a sweater and cap brandishing a newspaper and making through the crowd. Puzzled people holding potato sacks parted to let him through.

"WUXTRY, WUXTRY, read all aboooout it! Police picnic robbed! Thieves get away with valuable giant piggy bank!"

"What?" Commissioner Gordon gaped.

Police Chief O'Hara jumped up from his seat on the dais. "The piggy bank? Stolen? Sure'n, it's not true! It's right here!" He and Commissioner Gordon exchanged shocked stares.

Dick Grayson leaned toward his mentor. "Gosh, Bruce! What's going on?"

"I don't know, Dick." He looked around. "But we'd better be on our toes."

"People, people, please!" The Commissioner tried to calm the murmuring crowd.

The newsboy was now standing right next to the dais, a rolled up newspaper clutched in his fist.

"WUXTRY, WUXTRY! Valuable golden piggy bank stolen! Culprit believed to be The Joker!"

"See here, lad," Chief O'Hara bent down to address the boy. "What's all this about, then?"

"Take a look for yourself, sir!" The newsboy held the paper up as if to hand it to the police chief, then squeezed the base. A cloud of brightly colored knockout gas sprayed out, rendering everyone on the stage unconscious. The newsboy leapt onto the stage, laughing wildly and swinging the newspaper around to spray the crowd. The people nearest the stage collapsed. Others fled. Still cackling, the boy yanked off his cap to reveal a wild shock of dark hair, a single white streak running through it down to the right eyebrow.

"EEEEHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Three boys and a girl rode up on bicycles, bounding off to join the villain on the stage.

"Oh gosh, Toddy! You really done it!" The girl in the black mini-dress and matching go-go boots embraced him.

"Of course, Selene," he smirked. "Did you have any doubt?" He turned to the others. "Jack, Mark, Heath, get those ropes tied around the legs of that pig! And hurry it up! We don't have much time!"

"Sure thing, boss," Jack responded, tightening a knot. "But would you mind telling us why?"

"Yeah," Heath added, struggling to make a sheepshank. "This thing weighs a million pounds, I bet! Ain't no way we're gonna be able to budge it!"

"Oh, ye of little faith!" He cackled.

Reaching into his pocket, Odd Todd produced a small gadget which he aimed at the golden pig. When he pressed a button, a strange, shimmering ray enveloped the porcine statue, which suddenly rose into the air like a helium balloon.

"My degravitinator gadget!" He struck a pose, then motioned to the others when the pig started drifting away in the breeze. "Grab the ropes, grab the ropes!"

The boys seized the ropes, tying them to the handlebars of their bikes. They mounted up, Odd Todd taking the bike the girl had been riding. She climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms around him. The golden pig sailed through the air behind them as they rode through the streets of Gotham City.

A couple moments later, the people on the dais began to stir. When they woke up, they found the discarded newsboy costume and a fake newspaper with a huge picture of The Joker on the front page under the headline, 'THE JOKE'S ON YOU, GOTHAM CITY!'

#

"The gall of it all! The brazen effrontery!" Commissioner Gordon tossed the newspaper on his desk. "Robbing The Benevolent Society right under our very noses! And announcing it beforehand with that... that newsboy!"

Batman and Robin, newly arrived and slightly winded from their round trip from Gotham to Stately Wayne Manor and back, paced the floor of the Commissioner's office, pondering.

"It's vexing," Batman finally said, steepling his fingers. "It's... quite vexing."

"The little skunk-haired hooligan!" Chief O'Hara raged. "Why, if I could get me mitts on him, I'd whale the tar outta him!"

Batman held up a gloved hand. "No need for violence, Chief O'Hara. When one is dealing with so young a malefactor, one must temper discipline with mercy."

"I'm sorry, caped crusader," the Chief responded, chagrined. "But it just makes me blood boil! Do ye have any clue who the nipper might be?"

"The Bat-computer was able to positively identify him," Robin explained, handing the Chief a sheath of papers. "He calls himself Odd Todd."

"There should have a photo of him in the super-criminal master files," Batman added.

Commissioner Gordon nodded, pressing a button on his intercom. "Bonnie, could you activate our closed-circuit TV and show us the file photo of... Odd Todd? Thank you."

The paneling on the far wall of Commissioner Gordon's office slid to one side, revealing a television screen. A picture appeared of Odd Todd in his crazy-quilt suit posing menacingly before a mantelpiece.

"That's him!" Chief O'Hara shook his fist. "The hateful brat!"

Commissioner Gordon looked at the newspaper photo. "Do you really think he's in league with The Joker?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." Batman paced. "The grinning devil! He knows I could never harm a child!"

"Not even one who's a super-crook!" Robin punched his palm.

"But surely he's not much of a threat," Commissioner Gordon responded. "He's a mere boy!"

"A boy, Commissioner, true," Batman nodded. "But hardly 'mere.'"

Chief O'Hara whistled. "Check out this profile."

He handed the Commissioner the papers Robin had given him. Donning his spectacles, The Commissioner scanned the Bat-Computer's print-out.

"Says here he was something of a child prodigy. He used to be in something called The 'Odd Squad...' Odd Squad? Where have I heard that before? Um, yes. The Odd Squad, an organization dedicated to fighting oddness. Oh yes. My daughter Barbara mentioned something about them" He turned the page. "Let's see... Star athlete, electronics expert, master chemist, detective, a BA in engineering, proficient in boxing, archery, fencing, mixed martial arts... Folklorist, poet, botanist..." He flipped through the pages. "Speed typist, gourmand, best-selling author..." He flipped some more pages. "Won a grant for his free-standing metal sculptures..." Flipped some more. "Skilled jazz-fusion trumpet player, computer programmer, award-winning political cartoonist, an artist from the Pollack School..." Flipped some more. "He had a show on Telemundo?"

"He's been on several rampages across the border," Robin told the Commissioner and the police chief. "He was a top agent of the Canadian Odd Squad bureau until he got bored stopping oddness and decided to create it instead!"

"A tragic case, really," Batman looked at the picture. "A boy with so much promise throwing his life away for cheap thrills."

Commissioner Gordon nodded sadly. "If only he could have channeled his energies in some positive manner, like Scouting or organized sports."

"Be that as it may," Batman turned to face the others. "We mustn't underestimate him. He's as dangerous as any adult enemy we've ever encountered."

"And if he and The Joker are in cahoots...!" Robin punched his palm again.

"Heaven help us all." Chief O'Hara crossed himself.

#

Meanwhile at The Joker's hideout, an abandoned school building in a rundown section of town, The Joker clapped with glee as Odd Todd and his henchboys led the floating giant piggy bank into the room. It took some twisting to fit it through the door but once inside, it scraped against the ceiling. Todd gestured at the bank and struck a pose.

"Mission accomplished!"

"HEEHAHAHAHAHA! Excellent, excellent! A fine job, my dear protégé in perfidy!"

"Yeah, sure," one of the Joker's henchmen said, looking up at the pig in awe. "But how're we gonna get it down?"

"Oh, Oggie! You've no imagination!" The Joker gestured grandly at the boy in the crazy quilt suit. "Everyone, stand back! Todd, my boy, the stage is yours!"

Smirking, Odd Todd pulled out his de-gravitinator gadget and pointed it at the bank. A flash of light later, the golden pig regained its full weight and crashed to the floor, shattering in a thousand pieces.

"OOOOHOOOHOOO!" The Joker ran over, tossing the money aside as he examined the shards of gold. "Capital, capital!"

"But... But you broke it..." Another henchmen puzzled. "Won't that destroy the value?"

"Not to us, Oogie, not to us!" The Joker laughed and clapped Odd Todd on the back. "We're not taking this little piggy to market, are we, my boy? Instead, he's going to be a guinea pig for our upcoming experiment!"

"Experiment?" The third and last henchman asked.

"Yes, Ook, an experiment! What we're after is far more precious than even a gilded pig!"

"Which ain't saying much, but..." Odd Todd stooped to scoop up some of the money, which he then deposited on a nearby desk. "So, Joker, should we divide the cash up among the underlings or..."

The Joker nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, of course. Let the peons have their lucre! It'll tide them over and it's no use to us!" He turned his attention to Todd. "So, for this caper... A Plus!" Then he scowled at Todd's henchboys as they struggled to get their share of the loot. "Herh, but for henchmen names, D Minus! Jack, Mark, and Heath! Why, it was hardly worth having the monogrammed sweaters made!"

Odd Todd glared. "I have my reasons."

"Huh! Well, I know you do. But it's still egregiously bad form!"

Selene watched the others nervously. "Um, Mister Joker?" She swallowed. "If... If the money's not part of your plan, couldn't... couldn't we give it back?" She wilted a little under the villains' scornful gaze. "Just a little, I mean. It... It would confuse them..."

The Joker snorted. "That it would, girl, that it would! But in all the wrong ways! We _want_ the police to think we were after the money. That way, they'll be completely unprepared for our next move!" He sneered. "And besides, apprentice molls should be seen and not heard!"

A woman wearing an op-art coat over a bright pink body stocking hurried into the room. "Oh, you're back! And Selene, your hair's a mess!" She pulled a comb out of her purse and went to work fixing the girl's hairdo. "You need to be more careful! What if some Hollywood producer should happen to see you?"

"Oh, Mother! In here?"

"Well, in general! You're never going to become a star with that attitude!"

The Joker watched with some irritation. "Delilah, see if you can keep your child quiet! She has a disturbing streak of morality in her! Hardly apropos for a criminal or an aspiring child starlet!"

"Oh, Jokie-poo!" Putting her comb away, Delilah sashayed over to toy with The Joker's green hair. "She's still learning..."

"Well... I suppose..." Brightening suddenly, The Joker turned to the other crooks. "And speaking of learning, The Joker's College of Criminal Knowledge is now in session!"

The kids looked blank. "The...?"

The Joker sighed. "College of Criminal Knowledge." The kids still looked blank. "Like Kay Kayser. Remember? The College of Musical Knowledge? Kay Kayser?"

"Who's she?"

"Never mind, never mind. Pencils ready?"

The kids produced pencils from behind their backs.

"Notebooks?"

They produced notebooks as well.

"How do you do that? Never mind. Time for a field trip!"

Odd Todd grinned. "Where're we going, Joker?"

"The Gotham Public Library! Where better to further your education? HEEHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

"EEEHAHAHAHAHAH!"

#


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, back at Commissioner Gordon's office, Batman was using the Commissioner's phone to make a very important long-distance call.

"You will? Excellent. I'll see you shortly." He hung up. "Thank you, Commissioner. I'll reimburse your department."

"Oh, there's no need for that, Batman," Commissioner Gordon assured him. "It... is appreciated, though..."

"But Batman," Chief O'Hara asked earnestly. "Who were ye callin'?"

"It's very simple, Chief O'Hara. The Joker's using children as part of his new diabolical scheme..."

Robin's face lit up in sudden realization. "So we're going to fight fire with fire!"

The Commissioner puzzled. "Fire with...?"

"Mother MaCree, Batman! Certainly you're not sending innocent children against that monster!"

"Not exactly, Commissioner. Children, true. But children experienced in the workings of the criminal Odd Todd and adept in foiling his plots!"

"Of course!" Commissioner Gordon snapped his fingers. "The Odd Squad!"

On cue, Otto and Olive rose from behind the divan at the far side of the office. Batman turned to greet them while Chief O'Hara peered behind the divan.

"How did they... Were they hidin' there the whole time or...?"

"Thank you for coming, Odd Squad," the masked manhunter said warmly.

"Any time, sir," Olive replied, shaking the caped crusader's hand.

The Commissioner rushed to greet the two young agents. "Odd Squad! My grandchildren have told me all about you! I only hope you can help us crack this case."

Olive nodded. "We'll do our best, sir."

Otto just stared, almost vibrating with excitement. "Batman. And Robin. And we're _helping them on a case!_ " He bounced up and down. "This is too cool for words! BOOM-Hero-Lotta!"

Batman patted Otto on the shoulder. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, son. But remember, this is a serious matter. The Joker is a dangerous felon and not to be taken lightly."

"Neither is Odd Todd," Ms. O emerged from behind the divan, startling Chief O'Hara. "Don't worry, Batman, Commissioner, Chief O'Hara. Odd Squad is on the case!" Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara stared in quiet bewilderment at the juice box slurping little girl taking complete charge of the situation. "Our forensics team has been sent to the park to analyze the scene of the crime and look for clues."

"Excellent, Ms. O," Batman smiled. He went to pat Ms. O's head. She snarled and he thought better of it. "If I may, I'd suggest joining them. Perhaps with our combined forces we might be able to find something the police overlooked!"

Batman, Robin, and the two Odd Squad agents raced out the door. Ms. O turned, ducked back behind the divan, and disappeared.

"Commissioner," the police chief looked desperately at his superior officer. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Commissioner Gordon set his jaw. "If Batman thinks so," he intoned. "That's good enough for me. He knows what he's doing."

There was a crash down the hall, then Otto's voice. "Sorry!"

"I'm... almost certain he knows what he's doing."

Another crash. "Oh gosh, sorry! I'll clean it up!"

"Oh Batman, I hope you know what you're doing..."

#

Meanwhile at the Gotham Public Library, librarian Barbara Gordon was also meeting with a distinguished trio of visitors.

"Thank you for coming, Odd Squad," she shook Agent Oren's hand. "To be honest, I didn't expect a personal visit. I only saw him for a moment and I'm still not certain it was the real Odd Todd. If it weren't for the way the children at the library are always talking about you, I might not have recognized him."

"Every report is important, ma'am," Oren responded a bit pompously. "Especially if it concerns Odd Todd."

"Yeah," Agent Owen shrugged. "And we were in the neighborhood anyway." Oren elbowed him. "We were at a birthday party." Oren elbowed him harder. "Then things got kinda dull and we needed an excuse to..." Again, harder. "What do you WANT?"

Agent Olaf just stood, smiling peacefully. "Potato!"

Ms. Gordon smiled. "It's all right, guys. Just so long as you're here. So, whose birthday is it?"

Owen pointed to Olaf. "His cousin's."

An exact double of Olaf in a plaid shirt and overalls looked over from the magazine rack. "Tater!"

Oren sighed. "He's... from the South..."

Olaf bounced on his heels. "I'm Olaf!"

Olaf's cousin glared at him. " _I'm_ Olaf!"

Olaf glared back. " _I'm_ Olaf!"

" _I'm_ Olaf!"

 _"I'M_ Olaf!"

"GUYS!" Owen intervened. "You're both named Olaf! Okay?"

They looked at him. "Both Olaf?" They contemplated this. "Mind blown."

Oren sighed, harder this time. "How did this become my life? I had such dreams..."

Another Olaf, this one in a suit with a bowler hat and a monocle entered. "Potahto." He collected Southern Olaf and they went back to the party, leaving the three agents to their business.

An epic sigh from Agent Oren. "So, getting back to the case, any idea what Odd Todd might be after?"

"HEEHAHAHAHAHAHOOOHOOOHO!"

The kids jumped in surprise as The Joker and his minions burst in, circling them.

"Never mind what Odd Todd might want, kiddies! The real question is what the Joker might want!"

"The Joker!" Barbara Gordon put on her serious face. "What are you doing here, you hateful harlequin? Your library card was revoked years ago!"

"Oh, but that's merely a technicality! I'm here to check out a book! A very special edition, in fact, newly arrived at your establishment!" He smiled. "I've some young friends who I'm sure would find it most instructive! So if you don't mind..."

Quietly, Barbara pressed the alarm button hidden under her desk. "If you and your goons aren't out of here in one minute, I will call the police!"

The Joker grimaced. "Oh, that would never do! Let's leave your fatuous father out of this!"

Her attention focused on The Clown Prince of Crime, Barbara failed to notice one of the Joker's henchmen raising a pea-shooter to his lips. He blew a pellet which struck the young librarian. She gasped, then froze in place like a statue.

"HOOHAHAHAHAH! Excellent, excellent! That should keep the Commissioner's daughter quiet! Now to the rare book shelf!" He ran around the desk to the storage shelves where 'RARE BOOK SHELF' was clearly marked and went through the volumes. "The Necronomicon... The Book of Dzyan... The Last Dangerous Visions... Ah, here it is! The Secret Spellbook of Marie LeVeau! HEEHAHAHAHA! Come on, boys! Let's abscond with this treasure before the flatfoots arrive!"

The Odd Squad agents were looking at one another, trying to figure out what to do.

"You stop them! You're the Security Chief!"

"Are you kidding? You're the field agent! You stop them!"

"But he's... That's The Joker!"

"Yeah, but we can't just let them..."

"But... He's got a pea-shooter..."

Olaf howled, shocking the villains. "WHAT in the...?"

Oren nodded. "You're right. We have to try."

Plucking up their courage, they stepped out in front of the fleeing villains.

"H-Hey!" Owen did his best to sound tough. "You-You can't do that!"

Oren produced a gadget from his pocket, aiming it at the felon. "Put the book down and step away from the desk!"

Olaf snarled.

"What..." The Joker puzzled at the trio of boys blocking his escape. "Who are these pipsqueak paladins?"

"I know, Joker!" Delilah waved her hand in the air. "I'll bet they're from that Odd Squad thingie Todd keeps talking about!"

"Oh, they are, are they?" The Joker grinned. "And these must be three of the little Oddballs themselves!"

"That's right!" Oren kept his bead on the Clown Prince of Crime. "So if you don't... OW!"

Oren slapped his neck, then froze like a statue. Owen and Olaf likewise winced, slapped, and froze helplessly in place. The Joker's henchmen lowered their pea-shooters.

"Nice shooting, boys," The Joker emerged from behind the desk to remove the gadget from Owen's motionless hand as Odd Todd and his gang joined them. "Now what should we do with the little buttinskies?"

"Gosh, Joker!" Delilah gasped. "If they tell the cops we was here..."

"Oh, don't worry about that! Once the paralyzing drug in those darts will reach their hearts, they won't be telling anyone anything!" He nodded. "But the question remains, how can we dispose of them in a way that won't attract attention..." He pondered a moment. "Ah! Of course!" He gestured to his men. "Bring the boys to the next room! I believe I saw the perfect place for them earlier!"

Picking the frozen Odd Squad agents up like manikins, the criminals carried them off.

#

"What's that thing?"

"Don't touch that."

"Okay... Wow, what's that?"

"Don't _touch_ that."

"Ah, man... Hey, can I..."

"No." Robin sighed. "Look, y'wanna listen to the radio?"

The Batmobile wended its way through Gotham City traffic, Otto and Olive scrunched in between the Caped Crusaders. Olive shot a 'Knock it _off_!' death-glare at her partner, who was twisting around in his seat trying to take in every detail of the ride.

"The radio's not on? Where's that music coming from?"

Robin was genuinely perplexed. "What music?"

"That dundundundundun music." Otto looked at him, then at the others. "Don't you hear it?"

Batman shrugged. "The Batmobile makes all sorts of odd sounds, Otto. I suppose sometimes it can sound like music..."

Otto shrugged and looked at Olive, who indicated she heard it too so he wouldn't feel completely crazy. The awkward silence was broken by the beeping of the mobile hotline. Robin answered it.

"What's up, Commissioner?"

"Catastrophic news, boy wonder. We just received an emergency signal from the alarm button I had installed at the Gotham Library for my daughter!"

"Gosh," Robin exclaimed. "Do you think it's The Joker?"

"We've received reports he's been spotted in the area," The Commissioner responded. "Oh, I suppose it's probably nothing but she's an only child, just home from college and I can't help worrying about her. She's one of those carefree bachelor girls and I..."

Otto and Olive looked at one another. "Wait a minute. Didn't you say you had grandchildren? How's that possible?"

The Commissioner was thunderstruck. "Good heavens. I never thought of that." There was a pause. "What? Oh..." There was the sound of papers rustling. "We've just received word of a group of children gathered just outside the library. They're reportedly peering through the windows and writing in notebooks. One of them matches the description of this Odd Todd fellow."

Batman considered. "We can't take any chances. Initiate Emergency Bat-Turn."

"Roger." Robin checked his seatbelt. "Hold tight, kids. This can be tricky."

He pulled the Emergency Bat-Turn lever over their heads. The Batmobile skidded, then spun as if on a giant turntable. Olive clung to the dashboard for dear life, looking at the two heroes in utter shock. Parachutes erupted from the fuselage to cushion the sudden stop, then snapped off, lying coiled in the street as the Batmobile took off in another direction. From the rear view mirror, Otto and Olive could see a white van labeled 'Bat-Chute Emergency Retrieval Service' speeding to the scene.

Olive slowly regained control of her breathing as the color returned to her face. Otto was grinning from ear to ear.

"That was SO AWESOME!"

Olive glared at him. Nobody else seemed to notice.

#

The Joker and his minions raced down the library steps to meet Odd Todd and his gang gathered outside in the bushes.

"Very good, class! I hope you all took notes. There will be a quiz at the end of the semester! HEEHAHAHAHAHA!"

Odd Todd closed his notebook. "You got it?"

"Naturally," He handed the book to Odd Todd, who leafed through it. "And the spell in question is...?"

Skimming over the pages, Odd Todd found what he was looking for. "Right here." He handed the book back to The Joker. "Looks like we're gonna be busy getting the ingredients together."

The Joker scanned the page. "Egret's feathers... Lapis Lazuli... Oooh, this calls for a crime spree!" He handed the book back to Odd Todd. "Come along, my compatriots in chicanery! We've got some plotting to do!"

The villains left, all but Odd Todd, who lagged behind a moment, flipping through the Spellbook of Marie LeVeau. He found another page, different from the one he'd shown the Joker, and read over it, a malevolent grin spreading across his face. Snapping the book shut, he looked over the doodlings he'd just done in his notebook. Tearing off the paper he'd written on, he crumpled it, tossed it to the ground, and ran to catch up with the others.

#


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh... Oh..." Barbara Gordon unfroze from the position she'd been paralyzed in, falling into Batman's arms. He lowered her into a nearby chair.

"Thank goodness Commissioner Gordon sent us here!" Batman intoned while Robin paced about. "Miss Gordon was struck with a pellet treated with an extract from the rare Rasmintine berry, found only in parts of South Africa, Paraguay, and Scotland!"

"Gosh!" Robin exclaimed. "Doesn't that cause complete muscular paralysis?"

"Indeed," Batman nodded solemnly. "The effect is immediate but increases slowly, the heartbeat and respiration of the victim slowing until..."

Robin gasped. "Holy horrible way to die!"

"Yes," Batman checked Barbara Gordon's pulse. "But fortunately, we reached her in time. She should make a full recovery."

"Batman!" Otto and Olive ran into the library to join the Caped Crusaders. "We checked the place you said Odd Todd was spotted and found this!"

Otto handed the hero a wadded up ball of paper.

"So!" Robin pointed a finger for no particular reason. "In addition to his other crimes, the whiz-kid of weirdness is also a litterbug!"

Olive just stared at him a moment. "Um... yes."

They carefully opened the paper, finding the doodles Odd Todd had done before.

"Frogs?" Batman and Robin looked at each other. Otto and Olive also looked at one another. Then they all looked at one another. "Olive, you're the one most familiar with Todd from when you two worked together..."

Robin glared at her. "You worked with Odd Todd?"

"He wasn't Odd Todd then," she explained, scowling. "He was an Odd Squad agent."

"She was his partner," Otto added. "Until he went bad."

"I don't know why," she further explained. "I guess he felt he wasn't liked around the office..."

Robin furrowed his brow. "Why would he think that?"

"Because he _wasn't_. He'd whistle at his desk and steal sandwiches out of the refrigerator..."

Batman stopped her. "We're getting off track. Did he often doodle? And if so, did he draw frogs?"

Olive shook his head. "He usually doodles flaming skulls, naked women, and werewolves."

Batman sighed. "Typical of a disturbed youth with a grudge against society. But then... why would he _start_ drawing frogs?"

"It could be a clue!" Robin and Otto said simultaneously. They looked at each other again.

"But what was The Joker doing here?" Olive asked.

"He must have been after something..." Otto turned to the recovering librarian. Her eyelids fluttered weakly as she struggled to recover from the paralyzing drug. "How long do you think it'll be before she's able to tell us what he took?"

"Not long," Batman stepped around the desk. "But I have a hunch I know what that larcenous lunatic wanted to get his filthy paws on..."

He scanned the rare books. "The Necronomicon, The Book of Dzyan, The Last Dangerous Visions... Just as I thought! Only book is missing! The library's newest acquisition: The Lost Spellbook of Marie LaVeau!"

"The... what?"

"It was sent here for safekeeping. An old commonplace book believed to have belonged to Marie LaVeau, the fabled Witch-Queen of New Orleans."

"I read about that," Olive stepped forward. "Didn't they find it hidden in a secret vault in the cemetery where she's supposed to be buried?"

"Wait... Wait..." Otto's head was spinning. "The what queen of...?"

"Witch queen. Of New Orleans. She was a famous Creole mystic who led a voodoo cult in the mid-1800's and was rumored to be a powerful sorceress."

Robin nodded. "And the book contains what's reputed to be some of her most dangerous spells!"

Otto and Olive looked at one another. "So the Joker and Odd Todd want to learn how to cast these spells?"

#

"Oooohooohooo, yes!" The Joker stroked the stained, tattered cover of the battered old book. "Marie LaVeau, who was rumored to have discovered the secret of eternal life!"

"Gosh, Joker!" Oogie exclaimed. "Do you really think the old dame was immortal?"

"Well, we'll soon find out!" He walked to the chalkboard where Odd Todd had written a strange and bewildering list. "These are the ingredients of Miss LeVeau's fabled potion! Once we've gathered them, our junior alchemist will brew up a batch. And if it works, The Joker will still be tormenting Gotham City long after Batbrain and the Boy Blunder are mouldering in their graves! HEEHEHAHAHAH! What a delicious thought!" He flipped through the book. "And there are so many other spells! So many... We'll turn Gotham City into our personal playground and vex it with our hexes until they cry for mercy!HEEHEEEHAHAHAH!"

Oggie scratched his head. "But Joker! What if it _doesn't_ work?"

The Joker shrugged. "Well then, back to the drawing board. And we can always get a good ransom for the rare tome anyway!"

"Yeah!" Ook rubbed his hands together. "I betcha we can get plenty of loot for it on the black market!"

Delilah stretched out on a desk. "Oh, to be young and beautiful forever.." She checked her makeup in a hand-mirror. "Then maybe we could get some movie director to notice us!" She lowered the mirror. "How about it, Joker? You promised you'd make my daughter and me famous!"

"Don't worry, Delilah, don't worry. Soon, very soon, your brat will be more celebrated than Shirley Temple, Deanna Durbin, and Patty McCormack combined!"

Delilah sighed. "You keep saying that. But when, baby? When?"

The Joker checked his watch. "That'll depend on when Todd and his gang get back with the first ingredient: A dozen egret feathers..."

#

And at The Gotham City Civic Arena, a concert was underway by the internationally famous cabaret chanteuse Miss Elpha Kratt. Glittering with diamonds, she wrapped her trademark pink boa made from thousands of hand-dyed, diamond-encrusted egret feathers around her shoulders, stepped into the spotlight, and cued the orchestra.

"Like something that seeks its level," she purred in her unique, smouldering voice. "I wanna go to the Devil! I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks! I wanna be evil and cheat at jacks!"

Suddenly, another voice answered her from above.

"I wanna be wicked," it sang in a clear, ringing counter-tone. "I wanna tell lies!"

Elpha looked around, bewildered. A boy with wild, skunk-striped hair and a crazy-quilt suit swung down from the rafters, spinning on a rope like a spider on its thread.

"I wanna be mean!" He continued. "And throw mud pies!"

Trying to reassert her dominance, Elpha took over. "I wanna wake up in the morning with that dark brown taste..."

Odd Todd sang back at her. "I wanna see some dissipation in my face! I wanna be evil..."

"I wanna be mad!" Elpha sang. "But more than that..."

"I wanna be bad!" Odd Todd dropped from the rope onto the stage. "I wanna be evil, and trump an ace..." He smiled balefully at the audience. "Just to see my partner's face! I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel..."

"I wanna be daring!" Elpha was signaling desperately to the stand-hands, unaware Odd Todd's men had gassed them unconscious moments earlier. "I wanna shoot pool! And in the theater I wanna change my seat, just so I can step on everybody's feet!"

The audience was puzzled but seemed to be enjoying it. Not sure what else to do and anxious to avoid a panic, Elpha kept singing.

"I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies..."

"I wanna sing songs," Odd Todd cut in. "Like the boy who CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEESSSS..."

His voice ascended, rising higher and higher until it became a piercing, deafening shriek. He held the note as every window in the room shattered, then raised it until the audience and Elpha were writhing in agony. In seconds, everyone within earshot was unconscious. Odd Todd smiled and signaled to his earplug-wearing minions before grabbing the boa.

"I wanna be evil," he sang triumphantly. "Li'l ol' evil me, just as mean and evil as I... CAN... BEEEEEE!"

Leaping from the stage, boa wrapped around his neck, he ducked out the stage door into the alley where his gang waited with their bikes.

"Gosh, Toddy, that was somethin'!" Selene gushed. "I sure wish I could do somethin' like that, but I get so nervous in front of crowds and all..."

Odd Todd glared at her. "Lozenge," he croaked. "NOW."

She handed him a bag of Ricolas and they fled on their bikes.

#

"The... what?" Commissioner Gordon listened diligently on the hotline. "Yes. Yes, please do. Thank you, Batman. Let me know if you learn anything more." He hung up, then turned to Chief O'Hara. "My worst fears were almost realized. But fortunately, Batman saved Barbara from a horrible fate at the hands of that cackling clown!"

"Saints be praised!"

"He says she'll call when she feels up to it." He sat down at his desk. "Now if we can just get a lead on The Joker and his new young partner in crime..."

"I think we can help you with that, Commissioner." Ms. O stepped from behind the couch, sipping her juicebox. "The head of our forensics department has just finished his investigation."

Both men jumped, then The Commissioner smiled with relief.

"Excellent, excellent! Is he with you or...?"

Oscar popped up from behind the couch. "Yo!"

All the blood drained from Commissioner Gordon's face. " _This_ is the head of your forensics...?"

Oblivious, Oscar launched into his speech. "We've done a thorough investigation of the park where Odd Todd stole the solid gold piggy bank." Oscar marched to the center of the room. "Eyewitness accounts and ozone level readings in the area indicate he used a de-gravitinator gadget to make the giant piggy bank weightless so he and his gang could transport it."

Chief O'Hara eyed the lad skeptically. "A what now?"

"A de-gravitinator gadget. Like this one." Reaching into the pocket of his lab-coat, Oscar produced a small gadget. He aimed it at the large table across the room and fired a ray. The table rose into the air.

"In-credible!" The Commissioner rose to his feet.

"I don't believe it!" Chief O'Hara waved his hands under the table, looking for invisible wires. "It's a trick!"

"Well... It's kind of a trick, it's a de-gravinator gadget..."

The Chief eyed him suspiciously. "Bring it down now."

Oscar shrugged. "Well... Okay... Do you wanna move out of the way or...?"

"No, no," Chief O'Hara smiled, looking up at the floating table. "I'll catch it, I will..."

Sighing, Oscar zapped the table again.

THUMP!

"Oooooooooooo!"

"You... said you were going to catch it..." He looked nervously at the Commissioner. "He said he was going to catch it..."

Commissioner Gordon sighed. "So, you're saying Odd Todd used a device like yours...?"

"Well, not exactly. Mine's much cooler."

"Um... How so?"

"Mine goes VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... His goes ZEEP! ZEEP! ZEEP!" Oscar shook his head. "I can't believe he couldn't do better than ZEEP! ZEEP! ZEEP! I mean, if I had a gadget that went ZEEP! ZEEP! ZEEP! I'd..." He realized Ms. O was giving him her death-glare. "So anyway... Yeah. We were able to determine he had four accomplices. They rode bikes. We weren't able to get any tire track readings..."

Chief O'Hara crawled out from under the table. "Yeah, I suppose y'used yuir tire-trackinator gadget..."

Oscar blinked. "Don't you have one?"

The phone rang and, gratefully, the Commissioner answered it.

"Barbara?" Pause. "Oh." He nodded. "Yes. Yes, we'll get on it." He hung up. "Odd Todd's struck again." He rushed to the hotline.

"Aye, and The Joker was at the Gotham Public Library," Chief O'Hara told the kids. "Stealin', of all things, the Spellbook of Marie LaVeau."

Ms. O's hand clenched, crushing her juice box. Apple juice sprayed in all directions. "He what?"

#

"He what?" Batman listened to the Commissioner on the miniature portable Batphone from his utility belt. Turning to Robin and the kids, he explained. "Odd Todd's struck again! He invaded The Gotham City Civic Center and stole a valuable diamond-studded feather boa."

Robin smacked his fist into his palm. "Holy fashion disasters!"

"What?" Batman listened some more. "Incredible! He must have hit a note six decibels above high C, creating a resonant frequency which rendered the entire audience unconscious!"

Olive and Otto looked at one another. "Six decibels...?"

Batman pondered. "Extraordinary! The vocal range, the lung power he must have needed... Even the great Caruso would be hard-pressed to manage it!" He shook his head. "A remarkable talent. A shame he's perverted it for crime..."

"Gosh!" Robin exclaimed. "When one thinks of all the people he could entertain with a voice like that..."

Otto and Olive were still pondering the 'six decibels' line. "I'm... pretty sure that's total gibberish..."

"Merciful heavens!" The group turned to find Aunt Harriet making her way over to them. "Has something happened? What's wrong with Miss Gordon?"

Batman smiled gently. "Nothing serious, Mrs. Cooper," he turned to the Odd Squad agents. "This is Mrs. Harriet Cooper, aunt of prominent millionaire Bruce Wayne's young ward Dick Grayson."

"And a great gal in her own right!" Robin added, beaming.

"Oh, you flatterer..."

"We've encountered her several times during our adventures," Batman clarified.

"Well, I hope I'm not encountering you in the middle of another one!" Aunt Harriet looked around nervously. "Is something wrong?"

"Everything's under control, ma'am," Olive responded. "There was some commotion earlier but it's over now."

"Oh, that's so good to hear," she smiled at Olive and Otto. "My, what interesting outfits you two have. Is this the new mod style or...?"

"We're Odd Squad, ma'am."

"Oh. Well, that's... nice." She pondered. "I really suppose I should try to keep up with the latest slang..." Then she turned to Batman. "I was supposed to read to some children in the juvenile section of the library, but if there's been trouble..."

"Nonsense, Mrs. Cooper," Batman patted her shoulder. "There's no need to disappoint the children. Please, go ahead with your reading. And feel safe in knowing that we're on the case."

"Well, that is reassuring." She turned back to Otto and Olive. "You're welcome to come too, if you'd like. There's free punch and cookies."

"Cookies!?" Otto's eyes lit up.

Olive restrained him. "Maybe later."

"All right. Well, come whenever you can." She headed toward the children's wing of the library. "Such nice young boys... Even if that one wears his hair a little long..."

Once she was gone, Batman turned his attention back to the case. "Now, we need to find out what The Joker and Odd Todd are up to! Perhaps using their resources, Odd Squad could..."

"ODD SQUAD!" Barbara Gordon stumbled to her feet. "Oh no!" Pulling herself together, she struggled to focus through the lingering after-effects of the drug. "There were some other Odd Squad Agents here when The Joker attacked!"

Robin gasped. "Holy coincidence!"

"I think they said their names were Oren, Owen, and Olaf!" Otto and Olive swallowed. "He paralyzed them too and took them... Took them..." She stumbled. "I don't... He took them and hid them somewhere..."

Olive looked around. "We've got to find them!"

"And we've got to do it quickly! Everyone, split up! We only have seconds left!"

Meanwhile in the children's library, Harriet Cooper sat before a model diorama of THE WIZARD OF OZ, a group of children arranged in a circle listening as she read.

"Tiktok lived in the Land of Oz, and although he was an active and important person, he was made entirely of metal. Machinery within him, something like the works of a clock, made him move; other machinery made him talk; still other machinery made him think..."

And behind her, child-sized figures dressed as the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion stood, eyes frozen, staring and desperate.

#


	4. Chapter 4

"Although so cleverly constructed, the Clockwork man was far from perfect..."

In the Children's Literature section of The Gotham City Public Library, Harriet Cooper continued reading, the kids around her listening attentively.

"Three separate keys wound up his motion..." She blinked. "...Machinery, his speech..." She blinked again, then frowned. There was an odd speck of light on the page that kept distracting her. "...Works, and his thoughts. One or more of these contrivances was likely to run down at a critical moment, leaving poor Tiktok..." The light distracted her again. "I'm sorry, children. But I _must_ find out where that _light_ is coming from..."

Looking around, she realized the sun was shining through the window onto the small diorama the library staff had constructed in a corner of the room. The sunlight kept glistening off something in one of the statues' eyes...

"Just a moment..."

Putting the book down, she walked over to the diorama, a tribute to THE WIZARD OF OZ with manikins dressed as The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion. Plastic Halloween masks covered the manikins' faces. Looking closely, she realized one of the manikins was wearing glasses under its mask.

"How strange..."

She peeked under the mask and saw a very pale boy, moisture bubbling on his lips. Then she looked at the other two manikins and saw two more sets of eyes staring at her.

"Oh! OH! Oh, mercy!" Swallowing hard and struggling to keep calm, she turned to the children she'd been reading to. "Could you children please go find Batman or Robin or a librarian, please? There... There seems to be.. a problem..." The kids ran out of the room to search as Mrs. Cooper wrung her hands. "Oh, heavens! Oh, dear! Oh... We need a doctor, could somebody get a doctor or...?"

"Did somebody call for a doctor?"

Mrs. Cooper turned to find a blond girl in a teal lab coat, a badge hanging from a string around her neck. Doctor O climbed up onto the diorama, removed the masks from the paralyzed boys' faces, and examined them closely.

"These agents have been struck with pellets treated with an extract from the rare Rasmintine berry found only in parts of South Africa, Paraguay, and Scotland!" She dug in the pockets of her lab coat. "There's not a moment to lose!"

Bewildered, Mrs. Cooper fled. "Batman! Oh, Batman!"

#

"A priceless boa made from hand-dyed egret feathers coated with diamonds..." Commissioner Gordon pondered. "Why would The Joker and Odd Todd want such a thing?"

"Yeah," Oscar pondered. "Neither one of them really seems like the type..." He pondered some more. "Well, maybe The Joker... You guys know him better'n I do, though, so..." He blinked. "What were we talking about?"

Ms. O interrupted before Commissioner Gordon or Chief O'Hara could kill him. "It probably involves the spellbook The Joker stole earlier. They're gathering the ingredients necessary to cast one of the spells."

"Of course!" The Commissioner nodded. "But which one?"

"And where does the stolen piggy bank figure into it?" Chief O'Hara added.

"The piggy bank's easy," Ms. O explained. "Alchemists and sorcerers frequently used gold to test their spells."

Oscar looked at her. "They DID?"

"Ssh! If the formula they'd concocted transformed the gold into lead, they knew it worked," Ms. O paused while Oscar tried to figure that one out. The Commissioner and the Police Chief nodded as if they understood. "As for which spell... Well, that's the tricky part. "

#

"HEEHAHAHAHA! The poor fools are completely baffled!" The Joker danced about clapping his hands, then turned back to the television where the four's discussion was being broadcast. "Good work, Delilah! The tiny camera and microphone you planted in the Commissioner's office are both working perfectly!" Delilah primped. "We can see and hear every move Gordon and his playmates make!"

"Every move _they_ make, sure," Odd Todd scowled. "But what about Batman and Robin?"

"Oh, _those_ two! Pfah! Let me worry about them! You just get back to planning our next crime!"

Odd Todd resumed scribbling notes, skimming the Yellow Pages of the Gotham City Telephone Directory, and staring at the list on the blackboard. Nearby, his three henchmen were busy stripping diamonds off egret feathers.

"Oo!" Selene leaned closer to the television. "Who's the guy in the white coat and the bowtie? He's cute!"

Todd glared at her. _**"What?"**_

Selene smiled quickly. "B-But not as cute as you, Toddy!"

"Just you remember that," he growled.

#

Everyone on both sides of the screen were startled when Batman, Robin, Otto, Olive, Barbara Gordon, and Doctor O burst into the office carrying the still-recovering Oren, Owen, an Olaf.

"B-Batman! What in the..."

"It's a long story, Commissioner," Batman set the still slumbering Olaf on the couch. "And almost a tragic one. But thanks to this young lady here, these three Odd Squad agents will be all right!"

"The Joker drugged them with the same poison he gave me, Daddy," Barbara Gordon explained, setting Oren on the other side of the couch. "If Doctor O hadn't shown up, I hate to think what might have happened!"

"Curses!" The Joker hissed. "A perfectly precious pie-eyed prank gone awry due to some cookie in a doctor's coat! Well, we'll get them next time!"

Back in the office, Gordon was still trying to puzzle it all out. "Doctor...?"

Doctor O went over to him, shaking his hand. "Yes. I'm Doctor O. I'm a doctor."

"You're a... What?"

"No. I'm a doctor."

"She gave these boys some sort of universal antidote and saved their lives!" Robin plopped Owen into a chair.

"All in a day's work. Fortunately, I had some Universal Odd Squad Antidote on hand."

"It's just like the Universal Bat-Antidote!" Robin exclaimed.

"Yes. Only with a delicious cherry taste." Doctor O felt Owen's forehead and took his pulse. "They're recovering nicely."

"It's a good thing for them you happened to be in town!" Barbara Gordon smiled.

"Yeah," Otto raised an eyebrow. "Why were in town anyway?"

"Total coincidence," Doctor O responded, now checking Oren's heartbeat. "I'm visiting over the weekend for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah."

"How... apropos..." Batman half-grinned. "And you happened to visit the library..."

"No. I was there for storytime. I love the works of L. Frank Baum." She turned to look straight into an imaginary camera. "They're American Fables." She nodded and resumed her work.

"Yes. Well, goodbye Daddy," Barbara kissed her father on the cheek. "This is more than enough excitement for one day! I'm going straight home, taking the phone off the hook, and having a long, relaxing bubble bath!"

"Goodbye, Barbara!" He waved as the young librarian left. "I'm so glad she'll out of danger! Things like this always worry a father!"

Oscar sighed wistfully. "Y'know, it's been ages since I've had a nice bubble bath..."

Batman did a double take. "Oscar?"

Otto did a double take at Batman's double take. "You _know_ him?"

Oscar shrugged. "We've worked together a couple times. He... doesn't like to talk about it for some reason." Otto gazed at the little scientist with new respect as Oscar shook Batman's hand. "Glad to see you again, sir. Been awhile since the Case of The Parallel Pitchforks."

"Um, yes," Batman nodded politely. "Thank you. Now," he briskly changed the subject. "Down to cases. What will The Joker and Odd Todd's next move be?"

The Joker grinned. "I've got a wonderfully whimsical idea. Let's let them decide."

Odd Todd blinked. "What?"

The Joker laughed and clapped. "Instead of planning it out ourselves, let's leave it to them! Then we'll pull the very job they've concocted right under their very noses!"

"But... But..." Seeing The Joker's mind was made up, Odd Todd sighed and resigned himself.

Olive, meanwhile, was pondering. "What puzzles me is why they'd bother to steal the feather boa in the first place. If they wanted egret feathers, why not just buy them somewhere?"

One of Odd Todd's goons picked another diamond off a feather, dropping it in an old coffee can with the others. "Yeah. That's what I was wondering..." Odd Todd shushed him.

Batman grimaced. "The Joker, like many other arch-criminals of his ilk, suffers from an inflated sense of entitlement."

"It's not fun enough for him just to buy stuff!" Robin added. "He has to show how smart he thinks he is by stealing it!"

"How smart I _think_ I am?" The Joker reared back. "I was smart enough to get that feather boa!"

"Correction," Odd Todd leaned forward. " _I_ was smart enough to get that feather boa."

"Of course, Toddy. You were..." The Joker tried to pat Odd Todd on the head, only to have Odd Todd bark at him. He recoiled in surprise.

" _ **Don't. Touch. The. Hair.**_ "

"Of course, Odd Todd," The Joker grimaced. "Of course. Must've taken you hours to get it like that."

"Look who's talking," Odd Todd responded. "We can see your mustache under that gunk, you know that, don't you?"

"Well, never mind about that," The Joker gestured at the television. "They're talking again..."

Selene sighed, gazing at the television. "Those eyes... Like two little chocolate drops on a white tablecloth..." Fortunately, no one heard her.

#

Meanwhile, Barbara Gordon had managed in a ridiculously short space of time to return home. She put away her purse and fed her pet parakeet, Charlie.

"Y'know, Charlie, I hate lying to Daddy about these things." She took the phone off the hook. "But a bubble bath's just going to have to wait. I've got a feeling this case calls for some assistance from Batgirl!"

Crossing the room, she activated the secret panel in the wall of her apartment, which spun around to reveal her purple and yellow costume, red wig, and changing mirror.

#

"We know The duo's objective," Batman pontificated. "To collect the ingredients for a magic potion from the spellbook they stole."

"Yeah!" Robin rejoined. "But which potion?"

"Yes, that's the problem. If only we had a copy of the book ourselves..."

Ms. O jumped to her feet. "Oh, that's easy!" She turned to her agents, Otto, Olive, and Oscar. "Everyone grab an adult. We need to go to the Mathroom!"

Commissioner Gordon looked down at Ms. O as she seized his arms. "Young lady, if you have to go, I'll get my secretary Bonnie to..."

Once the Agents had their partners, they twisted their badges and spun en masse, taking the adults with them until they all vanished in flashes of light.

The Joker's jaw dropped. "Wha... Where'd they go?"

Sighing, Odd Todd walked over and changed channels on the TV. The picture changed to show Batman, Olive, Otto, Robin, Oscar, Chief O'Hara, Commissioner Gordon and Ms. O materializing in the strange, abstract world of the Mathroom.

"I thought they might try something like this!" Odd Todd sneered smugly.

"Wha...Wha...?" The Commissioner looked around in shock. "Where _are_ we?"

Chief O'Hara backed away from Oscar in horror. "It's... It's witchcraft, it is! You're the Devil himself!"

"I'm... I'm not..." Oscar looked crestfallen. "I'm _not._ Why do people always _say_ that?"

"I... There, there, lad, I'm sorry." He put his arm around Oscar. "I didn't mean anything by it..."

"But why do people always _say_ that?"

"A-hum!" Ms. O glared at everyone until she had their attention. "Back to the matter at hand. Mathroom!"

"Hello, Ms. O!" a voice responded seemingly from nowhere.

"Holy phantasmagoria!" Robin whispered.

"Show us all the spells listed in the Lost Spellbook of Marie LaVeau!"

"Showing spells..."

Picture after picture appeared in the air around them, holographic images of pages from the book.

"Now eliminate all the spells that don't include egret feathers!"

"Eliminating..."

Several images vanished, the remaining pictures rearranging themselves into a tighter formation. The group looked around them.

Otto shook his head. "That doesn't narrow it down that much..."

"But it's a start! Mathroom!" Batman stepped forward. "Could you tell us if there are any ingredients common to all or most of the remaining potions?"

"Certainly, Batman! It's an honor to help the Darknight Detective!" The Mathroom scanned the pictures, highlighting lines on each page. "All of the potions have as ingredients sugar, salt, and rum."

Commissioner Gordon pondered. "Sugar..."

Robin pondered. "Salt..."

Chief O'Hara pondered. "And rum? Sounds like a cake mix!"

"Of course!" Batman snapped his gloved fingers. "The Lotus Mahai Temple Restaurant and Tiki Bar in Gotham Square! It's world-renowned for its Pineapple Rum Cake!"

"So what are we waiting for?" Robin gestured. "Let's go!"

"Yes, let's..." Batman turned to Ms. O. "Could you get us back to the Commissioner's office, please?"

Ms. O nodded. She and her agents took the adults' arms again.

#

"OOOOHOOOHOOO, yes! Yes, glorious! Three essential ingredients in one caper!" The Joker laughed, then glared at Odd Todd. "And we'll have to have them sooner or later so we'll get them now!"

"All right, all right!" Odd Todd rose from his chair, collecting his things. "But if you don't mind, let's complicate matters a little for them."

The Joker giggled. "Ooooh Todd, you're definitely playing my song! What do you have in mind?"

#


	5. Chapter 5

"So let me get this straight..." Oren, now fully recovered, was sitting up on the couch staring angrily into space. "Batman... Batman, my hero, my idol, the greatest superhero in the WHOLE WORLD... Batman saved my life, carried me here to recover... And I _slept through the whole thing?_ "

Owen was playing with a yo-yo he'd produced from his pocket. "Well, technically he carried Olaf."

Olaf bounced on the couch. "I'm Olaf!"

"Great. So Robin..."

"Robin carried me," Owen corrected. "I think you were carried by the librarian lady."

"Great. Just great," Oren crossed his arms and fell back on the couch. "Was she at least a hot librarian?"

Commissioner Gordon glared at him. "She happens to be MY DAUGHTER."

"Oh..." Oren slumped down, reddening. "Sorry, sir..."

As the Commissioner turned away from him, Chief O'Hara patted Oren on the shoulder. He looked up at the Chief, who nodded intently. She was.

"Well..." Oren sighed. "That's _something,_ at least..."

Chief O'Hara crossed the room to join Commissioner Gordon, who was staring at Oscar hard at work deciphering clues with Ms. O.

"I know what you're thinking, Commissioner."

"Yes," Commissioner Gordon nodded. "Such an odd little duck. And Batman says he's worked with him before..."

"It... It... I can't help it, Commissioner. I find meself wonderin'..."

"I concur, Chief O'Hara. The Batcave, the Batmobile, the utility belt... So much of Batman's paraphernalia seems like it could only have come from the mind of a deranged eleven year old boy..."

Chief O'Hara looked from Oscar to the Commissioner. "Could it be...? Is it possible _he_...?"

"I scarcely dare think..." Commissioner Gordon shook his head, smiling at his own folly. "No, no, of course not. Preposterous."

Chief O'Hara laughed. "Absurd!"

"Ludicrous! Utterly ridiculous."

The Bat-Phone beeped three times. Pause. Three more times. Pause.

Chief O'Hara nodded. "Bat-Phone needs recharging again, Commissioner."

"Yes, yes, of course." Hurrying to his desk, Commissioner Gordon produced a potato from a drawer. "Would you mind doing the honors, Chief O'Hara?"

#

Across town, Batman, Robin, Olive and Otto had just arrived at the Lotus Mahai Temple Restaurant.

"B-B-Batman!" The maître d gasped, almost dropping the menus he carried. "Party of four?"

"Yes," the caped crusader nodded. "Could you seat us somewhere with a good view of the room, please? "

"Oh, certainly, sir. Certainly," the man's head bobbed up and down. "Right this way..."

Otto and Olive gaped at the décor, the enormous tiki heads blasting puffs of dry ice smoke and fire, the bar covered with fake palm fronds and framed autographed celebrity photos, the wall consisting of a giant aquarium filled with tropical fish and skin-diving women in mermaid costumes, the opposite wall a plate glass window looking out over an artificial miniature rain forest in the midst of a summer storm, the waitresses in leis and sarongs, and the bandstand where a group of Hawaiian-shirted gentlemen performed showtunes in Polynesian.

Otto swallowed. "This is the greatest restaurant I ever saw..."

The maître d eyed him nervously. "You're... not planning a protest, are you?"

Otto looked up, honestly confused. "What?"

"I mean, it's all in good fun, we don't mean to insult anyone's culture or..."

"Huh?" It took a few seconds, but finally Otto figured it out. "No, it's fine. It's okay. I'm Bosnian, actually."

"Oh. Well, good." He seated the four heroes at a large table near the kitchen. As he was walking away, it hit him. " _Bosnian?_ "

Looking around, Robin cautioned the kids. "Be on your guard. The Joker's men could be anywhere."

Olive nodded. "Odd Todd would love this place. He's probably lurking about already."

Batman motioned to her. "He's singing with the band, actually."

Startled, Olive and Otto tried to be discrete as they studied the guy with the slouch hat and sunglasses crooning into the microphone on stage.

"His Polynesian is passable, but his mouth is filthy." They listened to more of the song. "And those remarks about my mother were completely uncalled for..."

Robin studied the rest of the band. "And the Joker's goons are playing backup for him!"

Batman nodded. "I'll have to hand it to him. It's not that simple finding a henchman who's adept at the steel guitar."

Otto leaned forward. "So, what'll we do?"

"We can't risk panicking the crowd," Batman looked around. "We'll have to let them play out their hand and see what happens."

A waitress in a sarong and a slightly crooked black wig hurried over. "Hi," she said, cracking her gum. "My name's... Hold on..." She checked her nametag. "My name's Luhaua... I'm sorry, I just started here..." She handed them each a menu. " Can I take your order?"

"Yes," Batman responded, smiling politely. "Four tropical oranges, please."

Luhaua smiled, bowed, and retreated to the kitchen where The Joker and Odd Todd's gang waited. The maître d was tied up in the corner, along with the wait staff and the kitchen crew.

"Well, Delilah?"

The Joker's moll straightened her wig. "He ordered the orange drinks."

"Good, good," The Joker motioned for Jack, Mark, and Heath to prepare the tropical orange drinks, then produced a packet of powder from his pocket. "And this will ensure their dining experience will be a memorable one!"

#

And across town, Barbara Gordon had finished her tantalizing transformation into Batgirl. After checking her outfit in the mirror one last time, she opened the portal leading to the hidden garage where she kept her Batgirl-Cycle.

"Hi!"

She jumped with surprise. Quickly closing the panel so as to preserve her secret identity, Batgirl turned to confront the small boy in the Odd Squad uniform.

"Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm Agent Ori! I'm with Odd Squad!" He smiled proudly.

"I can see that, but you haven't answered my second question."

"Oh." Ori pondered. "What was it?"

Batgirl sighed. "How did you get in here?"

"Oh. Through there!" He pointed vaguely. "Is this your bike?"

"It's my Batgirl-Cycle, and I really must get going. I'm on a very important mission!"

"Oh. Can I come too?"

Batgirl shook her head. "I'm afraid not. I'm taking you to Commissioner Gordon's office." She placed him on the Cycle behind her. "That's where the rest of your friends are."

"Cool!" He looked around. "Don't you wear a helmet?"

"My mask is reinforced. I'm not sure what to do about you, though..."

Ori reached behind his back, producing a bicycle helmet which he strapped on. "All ready!"

Sighing, Batgirl shook her head. "This is one distraction I don't need!"

#

A gong sounded, nearly scaring Otto and Olive out of their skins. "OH!" Olive reddened. "That's one distraction we don't need..."

Otto looked around. "What's that mean, anyway?"

"If I remember correctly, it means someone has ordered an Island Sacrifice," Batman pointed to the enormous mock volcano in the center of the restaurant. "Watch."

A hidden door opened in the side of the volcano and a woman emerged dressed in a mock-tropical costume. A spotlight shone upon her and she began an elaborate dance routine while tribal drums echoed over the loudspeakers.

Olive blinked. "What in the...?"

"It's traditional," Batman explained. "A theatrical touch the Lotus Mahai adopted. Whenever an Island Sacrifice is ordered, an 'island maiden' performs a 'ceremonial dance' for the 'volcano god...'" As the maiden ended her dance, the gong sounded again and the volcano erupted with a blast of flame and a flash of colored lights. Then she smoothed her sarong, adjusted her wig, and brought the drink to another table.

Otto was bouncing in his chair. "That was SO COOL..." Olive stared at him in shock. "Can we get a... whatever it was?"

Batman shook his head. "I'm afraid not, son," He patted Otto's shoulder. "The Island Sacrifice is also famous for containing almost anesthetic levels of rum and cognac. And you're all a little young to engage in strong spirits." He looked up. Luahua had arrived with their order, four orange drinks in brightly colored tiki mugs. She placed the drinks on the table and waved her hand over them. The drinks instantly started to smoke.

Otto backed up in his chair. "What's going on?"

"Just another theatrical touch, Otto," Batman assured them. "I'm sure she palmed some dry ice and dropped it surreptitiously into the drinks..."

The smoke thickened and billowed, engulfing the four heroes. Olive looked around and found herself making eye contact with Odd Todd up on the bandstand. He lowered his sunglasses and grinned at her.

Batman coughed. "Then... Then again, perhaps I was mistaken..."

The four heroes collapsed on the table, unconscious. Delilah motioned for the Joker's men on the bandstand to carry them away.

#

The four awoke in a strange room, their hands handcuffed behind their backs. The Joker and Odd Todd were standing over them.

"...Lucky thing it's a Tuesday afternoon so there weren't many customers... Oh, wait! Look, Odd Todd, they're awake!"

Otto blinked. "What happened?"

Olive sighed. "Knockout gas. Then I imagine they carried us here." She looked around. "Some sort of death-trap, I wager..."

"A death-trap? Cool!"

Olive stared at him. "Um, you do know what a death-trap _is_ , right?"

The Joker grinned down at them. "Well, if he doesn't, let me explain. Do you remember the volcano that erupted real flame earlier? Well, now you're inside it. And the next time the volcano erupts..." He pointed to the nozzles underneath them. "Jets of fire will shoot out of those nozzles and cook you all to a crisp!"

Odd Todd smirked. "It was my idea," he bounced on his heels. "My first real death-trap. I got an A Minus." He glared at The Joker. "Should've been an A Plus but he said I should've worked some sort of alchemy theme into it..."

"Well, that's what we're doing this caper, it only makes sense..." The Joker clapped his hands. "Still, a marvelously fiendish and twisted scheme!"

Odd Todd looked down, shuffling his feet. "Aw, shucks..."

"The next time someone orders an Island Sacrifice, it will come with a side-dish of barbecued bat!" The Joker twittered. "And some Odd little entrees as well!"

Olive looked up at them. "How do you know someone won't order one while _you're_ both in here?"

"Because... Because we... Um," The Joker leaned over to whisper to Todd. "How _do_ we know?"

Odd Todd sighed. "Because I turned off the jets before we came in. I'll turn them back on after we leave. And," he produced a welding torch. "I'll weld the door shut so don't think you can get out that way." He put the torch away. "Also, this thing is completely soundproof. So don't waste your breath yelling for help."

Laughing, The Joker tossed leis around the heroes' necks. "Aloha Oe, Aloha Oe, the caped crusaders go to join their Maaaaaaker... And Odd Squad too, the both of you, we'll ne-ever me-et agaaaaaain!"

Batman glared solemnly at the villains. "Joker... I care nothing for myself. But spare the children."

The Joker turned to his partner. "Well, Toddy? What do you think?"

Odd Todd made a great show of cocking his head and rubbing his chin. "Hmmm... I suppose I might be willing to spare my former partner and her poor substitute of a new partner... Under one condition." He reached behind his back to produce a mannequin dressed in a feminine version of Odd Todd's costume. A photo cutout of Olive's face was taped over the mannequin's own. "Join me, oh glorious Olive, and we can make the world odd together!"

"Forget it, Todd!" Olive responded fiercely. "I'll never join you!"

Odd Todd's mouth twitched and his face reddened. "Well... Well, fine then! Just fine!" He stormed toward the exit. "Come on, Joker! Let's get it over with!"

The Joker followed him. "Oh Toddy, you shouldn't take these things so personally. And really, you must learn to slow down and savor the joy of an exquisite act of homicide!" He turned back to the heroes. "Toodle-oo, Bats and brats!"

The door slammed shut.

Robin looked at Olive. "Y'know, perhaps under the circumstances you should have played along with him, at least until we figured a way out of this..."

Olive sighed. "I know. But... Look, I know he's a villain and a jerk and completely crazy. And maybe I should've. But I couldn't do that to him. It'd break his heart."

Batman nodded. "A most commendable consideration for others, Agent Olive."

"Yeah," Robin watched as the door was welded shut. "Let's hope it doesn't get us killed!"

#


	6. Chapter 6

Muttering to himself, Odd Todd welded shut the escape hatch of the artificial volcano where the heroes were trapped. "Fine, she'd rather die than join the Todd Squad, fine..."

One of The Joker's minions poked his head out of the kitchen. "The stuff's all loaded in The Jokermobile, boss!"

"Excellent, excellent!" The Joker cackled. "We'll leave just as soon as the good guys are flambéed!"

Selene, dressed identically to her mother in a flowered sarong and a bad wig, listened nervously. "Mom? I'm not really sure this is all really going to make me a child star. I mean, being an accessory to murder..."

"Hush, honey," Delilah straightened her wig. "Y'gotta get people's attention. And if y'gotta break a few eggs. At least it's better'n another TODDLERS AND TIARAS audition..."

"There!" Odd Todd sneered. "They're not getting out of there!"

'Very good, very good!" The Joker patted him on the shoulder. Standing, Odd Todd put his torch and welder's goggles behind his back. "There's just one problem, though."

Todd looked at him sideways. "What?"

"Well, the fire won't be triggered until someone orders an Island Sacrifice..."

"So?"

"So, look at this place!" He gestured to the nearly empty restaurant. "It's completely dead in here! We've hardly had any customers since taking over the business! And if we wait too long, our erstwhile opponents are liable to escape!"

Odd Todd sighed. The button triggering the flame jets that would burn Batman, Robin, Olive and Otto to ashes was just to The Joker's immediate right, but he knew it would be pointless to tell him. So he improvised.

"I thought of that. While we were loading Batman into the tank, I took the liberty of swiping this from his utility belt." Odd Todd produced Batman's miniature Batphone.

The Joker laughed and clapped his hands. "Very dexterous of you, Toddy! A direct line to Commissioner Gordon himself! Eh, but what good will that do us?"

"You'll see..." Odd Todd pulled a scarf from his pocket and started warming up his voice. "Trust me, you'll _love_ this one..."

#

YOU'RE the security chief of Odd Squad?"

Agent Owen nodded. "Yep."

Chief O'Hara shook his head. "A little guy like you?" Agent Owen didn't like that, but he refrained from responding. "What do you do when there's trouble?"

Owen smiled. "I run away screaming." He demonstrated. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The Chief winced. "An' how does that help anything?"

Owen shrugged. "Well, the other agents hear me screaming..." He demonstrated again... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" ..."And they know to evacuate."

Chief O'Hara walked away, blinking. "Saints preserve us. This case must be gettin' to me. I almost wish I'd thought of that..."

Ms. O and Oscar, meanwhile, were still going over the case.

"There's one other thing that puzzles me." Ms. O sipped from her juice box. "So far, Odd Todd and The Joker have stolen a giant gold piggy bank, a valuable book of alchemy and a diamond-studded feather boa."

Commissioner Gordon, listening to the conversation, nodded. "Quite unusual, I must admit."

"But that's just it!" Ms. O exploded. "The thefts were unusual, even bizarre... But they weren't _odd._ " She stared out the window. "Odd Todd's up to something..." She pulled the frog drawing out of her pocket. "I'm sure this must be a clue..."

Oscar, meanwhile, was looking at the clock. "Otto and Olive should've checked in by now. Maybe we should kinda pop over there and see what's going on..."

#

Inside the tank, Batman and Robin struggled to free themselves from their bonds.

"Anything, Robin?"

"Sorry, Batman! If I could only reach the Bat-lock picks in our utility belts..."

Otto blinked. "Um, wouldn't it be better if you kept them in the back instead of the front so they'd be easier to get to when you're handcuffed?"

"Excellent point, Otto! We'll have to take it into consideration." Batman twisted about. "Very... clever of them to use handcuffs instead of simply tying us up as they usually do!"

"Maybe a little too clever!" Olive answered. "My hands are smaller than yours! I'm pretty sure I can slip out of these.." She struggled to do so.

"Good girl, Olive!" Batman responded. "If you can get loose, perhaps you can free us too!"

"Yeah," Robin looked around. "But who knows how much time we have?"

#

"Batgirl!"

"Batgirl!"

Ms. O looked over from her notes. "Oh. Hi, Batgirl. Any news?"

"Sorry, Ms. O. I haven't had the chance to do any snooping. I just stopped by to drop off another lost lamb."

Ori ran in. "Hi, guys! What's everyone doing here?"

Ms. O rose, walking over to Ori. "What are _you_ doing here? You're supposed to be in Bimini investigating invisible dinosaur sightings!"

"Well, I was..." Ori explained quickly. "And I asked a lot of people but they said they hadn't seen any invisible dinosaurs. So..."

Ms. O and Commissioner Gordon exchanged looks.

"They... hadn't seen... any invisible dinosaurs..." The Batphone rang. Grateful beyond words, the Commissioner answered it. "Batman!" Long pause. "Well... If you so say so, Batman... But what about the..." Another pause. "Yes, yes. I suppose Bonnie can look after them, if necessary. Chief O'Hara and I will leave at once! See you soon!" He hung up.

#

Odd Todd hung up the Batphone.

"Excellent, Toddy, excellent! An exquisite twist to the tale! And a most masterful performance as well."

"Thank you, thank you," Odd Todd replied in his perfect imitation of Batman's voice. Then he smashed the phone against the wall.

#

Chief O'Hara looked quizzical. "Leave for where?"

"The Mahai Lotus. Batman just called to..." He looked around at the Odd Squad agents. "Well, I'll tell you about it on the way. Come on!"

Batgirl joined Ms. O as the two men left.

"I'm not sure I like this," Ms. O sipped her juicebox.

"Me neither," Batgirl pondered. "My feminine intuition tells me there's something distinctly odd going on here." She looked around. "I'm going to follow them. You all stay put. It might be a trap."

Ms. O nodded. "Signal us if you need any help."

"Of course." She exited through the window.

Owen knitted his brow. "Y'know... She reminds me of someone..."

Oren returned from the bathroom, wiping his hands with a paper towel. "Who does?"

Ms. O took another sip from her juice box. "We probably should have told her to tell Olive and Otto..." She looked around. "Oscar? Oscar?"

#

Selene had managed to slip outside where she paced nervously around the parking lot, trying to convince herself her mother was right and everything would work out all right. She looked at the Jokermobile, loaded down with sugar, rum, and salt. She'd noticed Odd Todd in the kitchen slipping a clove of garlic and some cinnamon sticks into his pockets.

Then she noticed a boy in a labcoat getting off the bus out front.

"Oh no..." She looked back at the restaurant where the villains were waiting, then at the boy headed straight for the front door. "Oh _no_..."

Before she could talk herself out of it, she was running toward Oscar, grabbing his arms and trying to pull him to safety.

"You're... you're him! You're him!"

Oscar blinked, bewildered. "I... Sure, yeah, I guess so. I mean, I'm one of them... What's this all about?"

"You're with Odd Squad! Please! You have to get out of here! Your friends will be killed! Go get the police! They've captured Batman!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Oscar adjusted his glasses. "What do you mean my friends will be... OW!" Oscar slapped at the piercing sting at the back of his neck. His hand came back clutching a little dart. "Oh, _man_..."

Selene watched him freeze in place. Then, terror mounting, she turned to see Odd Todd, The Joker, and their goons surrounding her.

"Not good, Selene," The Joker hissed. "Not good at all."

Odd Todd glared at Oscar. "Get him inside before someone sees us."

Mark, Jack, and Heath carted Oscar inside.

#

"Why would even _like_ this twerp?" Odd Todd raged at Selene. "He looks like a blacklight poster of Orville Redenbacher!"

"He's kind! He's noble! He's everything you'll never be!" Selene shouted back through her tears, Todd's minions restraining her. "And he's so cute when he crinkles up his little nose..."

Odd Todd snorted in disgust.

"Poor little Todd!" The Joker clucked in mock sympathy. "Rejected twice in one day! Perhaps romance just isn't in the cards for you!"

Todd growled under his breath. Groping in his pocket, he pulled out the list of spell ingredients.

"Well, it'll save us a trip." He handed the list to The Joker. "Check out Number Six."

"Number six, number six..." The Joker found it on the list. "The hair of a blond and virtuous youth..." He looked from Oscar to Odd Todd and back. "Oh, how delicious! How delectably delicious!"

Selene gasped as Odd Todd produced an electric razor. Humming quietly to himself, he set about shaving Oscar's head.

#

"I... I think..." Olive squirmed. "Yes! Finally!" Wincing as her skin scraped on the metal, she managed to squeeze her fingers through the handcuffs. She held up her now free hands, the cuffs dangling from one wrist.

"Great!" Robin exclaimed. "Now free us!"

Olive looked around. "How can I...?"

Batman thought. "Do you have a bobby pin?"

She shook her head.

"I do," Otto piped up. "In my shirt pocket."

Olive felt about her partner's pocket and produced the pin. "Um, why do you have a bobby pin in your shirt pocket?"

Otto shrugged. "In case we needed to pick a lock."

Sighing, Olive set to work on the handcuffs.

#

"The Mahai Lotus!" Commissioner Gordon looked around. "It's been years since I've been here. Not since my daughter Barbara's graduation party, in fact!"

"Yeah," Chief O'Hara smiled sadly. "I hear business is bad for 'em. Rumor is, they're gonna tear the place down and open a CVS Pharmacy..."

"Table, gentlemen?" One of The Joker's men posing as a maître 'd escorted the two lawmen to a nearby table. "I'll have someone take your order in a moment..."

They looked around.

"What's the plan, Commissioner?"

"I'm... not quite sure," The Commissioner admitted. "Batman just told me to come here with you and order an Island Sacrifice."

"Ah," The Chief nodded. "Well, he probably knows what he's doin'..."

"He usually does..."

#

"Oops!" Odd Todd nicked Oscar's ear, blotting away the blood with a handkerchief. "And there we are!" Stuffing the handkerchief in his pocket he stepped back to admire his work. "Bald as a cueball!" His minions swept up the sheared hair, packing it up in a little bag for the spell.

Oscar stood frozen, shorn of hair, his glasses slightly askew. Odd Todd fixed them, smirking at Selene. "What do you think of your noble little scientist now?"

Selene sobbed.

Oogie leaned in to the kitchen. "They're here, boss!"

The Joker giggled. "Lovely, lovely! Have Delilah take their order!"

Oggie grinned. "An' they'll order an Island Sacrifice..."

Ook smirked. "And the volcano will go off..."

"And BOOM! No more heroes!" The Joker skipped around the room. He stopped suddenly. "And Selene... Darling..." He caressed the girl's chin. "You'll perform the sacred dance!"

Selene struggled. "No! No, I won't! I won't!"

"Oh, I think you will..." The Joker purred, handing Odd Todd a cleaver. Todd held it against Oscar's Adam's apple. "...Or your little heart-throb dies!"

#

"There!"

Olive finally managed to spring the lock. Otto's handcuffs dropped off.

"Thanks!" Otto rubbed his wrists.

"Otto!" Batman said. "Do you have your listeninator gadget?"

Otto blinked, surprised Batman knew. He pulled it out from behind his back.

"Go and see if you can tell what's going on out there while Olive works on our cuffs!"

"Yessir!"

Running over to the nearest wall, he held up the listeninator gadget and switched it on. They held the gong outside sound.

"Uh-oh..."

#

Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara watched the dance, shouting over the piped-in music.

"She's... very young, isn't she?"

"I think I heard someone say she's somebody's daughter!"

"She seems very nervous... Poor thing, she's trembling..."

Selene stumbled through the dance as best she could, trying to focus on the steps. All she could concentrate on were The Joker and Odd Todd standing hidden near the volcano, cleaver still poised at Oscar's throat.

"You're going to kill him anyway, right?"

Odd Todd shook his head. "It's more trouble for Odd Squad if we leave him alive." He smiled at The Joker's puzzled look. "Y'ever read _The New England Journal of Odd Medicine?"_

Selene's mind raced, trying to come up with a plan, some way to alert the policemen and save the heroes.

Then Oscar's badge phone went off.

The cheery little melody echoed just loud enough to be heard over the music. Puzzled, Commissioner Gordon looked for the source and spotted the villains.

"Joker!"

The Joker stepped aside so they could see the others. "Yes. And Odd Todd too! And a little hostage as well!" He moved toward the door.

"They're in the volcano!" Selene finally managed to shout. "Batman, Odd Squad, all of them! They're going to kill them all!"

"We sure are!" Odd Todd smirked. Then, to their minions scattered about. "Get to the car! We'll be there in a second!"

The minions departed, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara standing nervously.

"And now..." The Joker bumped into a patron sitting with her back to the others. "We..."

"ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!" Agent Orchid tossed down her fork and stood up. The Joker looked down at her, bewildered. "IT'S MY DAY OFF! ALL I WANTED WAS TO COME IN FOR A CHERRY SUNRISE CAKE! I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MONTH JUST TO COME DOWN HERE AND GET A CHERRY SUNRTISE CAKE! AND YOU SHERMANS HAD TO RUIN IT!" She punched him in the stomach. He doubled over and she stormed out. "See if I ever come all the way down here again!"

The door slammed behind her.

Odd Todd held the cleaver tighter. "Okay, everybody!"

Commissioner Gordon stared. "Is that... Oscar?"

"Everybody stay back! We're getting out of here..."

A Batarang struck his hand. He dropped the cleaver, yelping.

"Little boys shouldn't play with knives, Odd Todd!" Batgirl kicked the cleaver away. "Now, are you two ready to come quietly or...?"

"Batgirl!" The Joker, still wincing, did his best to straighten himself up. "Retreat, Todd! Retreat!"

Todd shoved Oscar at the Dominoed Daredoll, then ran and hit the button triggering the jets.

Flames erupted from the volcano.

While everyone was distracted, the two villains fled.

#


	7. Chapter 7

Odd Todd scrambled out of the restaurant and leapt into The Jokermobile, squeezing in between the henchmen.

"Ah Toddy," The Joker smiled. "I was beginning to think we might have to leave without you!"

"Yeah," Odd Todd smirked. "Good luck figuring out that spell formula without me."

The Joker's smile dimmed. "Well, at least we've got a few more ingredients. What's next?"

Todd pulled the list from his pocket and skimmed over it quickly. "Hmmm. We need the thigh-bone of a Macedonian she-wolf." He pondered. "Happen to know where we can find one?"

"As a matter of fact," The Joker responded, pulling into traffic. "I do."

#

"Is... Is it possible they're still alive in there?"

Commissioner Gordon watched the last of the flames die down from the artificial volcano. Chief O'Hara went over, touching the sides gingerly with his fingertips.

"It's burnin' hot..." He winced, imagining the caped crusaders and the two Odd Squad agents trapped inside.

Oscar had been fed a Bat-Antidote pill by Batgirl. Now he was slumped in a chair by a nearby table sleeping it off, his newly shaven head nodding back and forth, a little trickle of drool flowing from the corner of his mouth.

"It's all my fault..." Selene kept sobbing. "It's all my fault.." Batgirl patted her shoulder.

"Chief," Commissioner Gordon swallowed, trying to pull himself together. "Call the paramedics. Perhaps there's still some hope..."

He gasped as sparks suddenly erupted from the volcano's side. They moved slowly in a diagonal line, leaving a scorched, burnt line in the metal. After about nine feet, they moved down, then sideways again, then back up, forming a slightly lopsided square.

Chief O'Hara and Commissioner Gordon looked at one another.

Then Batman punched the square out of the way. He climbed out, then helped Olive and Otto clamber through the crude door. Robin was last to emerge.

"Batman!" Commissioner Gordon sighed with relief. "If ever there were a sight for sore eyes..."

"Thank you, Commissioner," Batman replied coolly. "It was a very narrow escape."

"Oh, Batman, I've never been so relieved in me life!" Chief O'Hara wiped the sweat from his brow. "But how did you do it?"

Batman patted Olive and Otto on the back. "Actually, it was these two clever children."

Chief O'Hara blinked. "Whuh?"

Otto grinned up at him. "We just went to the Mathroom."

"Um..." The Chief looked from side to side. "Well, I suppose it was a stressful situation..."

Commissioner Gordon winced. "No, no, Chief O'Hara. The _Math_ room. That strange extra-dimensional void they can access via their special badges!"

Olive stepped forward. "We simply went there until it was safe. And until we could pick the locks on the Dynamic Duo's handcuffs."

"Then, of course, I used my Bat-acetylene torch..."

"Well, however you did it, Batman, I'm just relieved you're all still in the land of the living!"

"Yeah," Robin nodded. "But the Joker and Odd Todd got away!"

"Admittedly so, yes," Batman responded grimly. "We'll have to regroup our forces and try again."

"Oscar!" Olive had just spotted the little scientist. She ran over to him, staring at his shorn head. He was mumbling in his sleep, which was slightly reassuring. He was still alive, at least.

Chief O'Hara shrugged. "Apparently, he came looking for you folks and The Joker hit him with one of his paralyzing darts."

"I've already given him the antidote," Batgirl reassured them. They paused while Oscar murmured something about strawberry cookies and Finland. "Your friend Odd Todd cut his hair off. According to our captive here," she indicated Selene. "They need it for part of their spell."

"Another clue to their overall plan!" Batman exclaimed.

"And another step closer to the completion of their formula!" Robin sighed.

Oscar was stirring slightly. Olive looked at the others.

"We'd better not tell him, at least not right away," she urged them. "At least give us a chance to prepare him first."

Oscar's badge-phone rang. Instinctively, he answered it. "...Um, uh, yello..."

The screaming from the phone was audible throughout the entire restaurant. Oscar was instantly awake. "I... Yes, Ms. O. Right away, Ms. O. I'm very sorry, Ms. O. Please don't kill me, Ms. O. Of course, Ms. O. I..." An audible click. "Hello?" He looked around. "Oh, hi. I was getting a bit worried about you guys but I guess everything's okay. So I'll just get back..."

"Oscar..." Olive stopped him. "Um..." She wasn't sure how to phrase it.

Otto stepped in. "Uh, you do have a hair-grow-backinator, right?"

"Sure, back at the lab," He looked at them, puzzled. "Why?"

His hand reached up instinctively to smooth his hair. Olive caught it and lowered it quickly. "Um, maybe you should go and get it before going back to Commissioner Gordon's office. We'll go with you."

Oscar shrugged. "Well, okay. If you say so, Olive. But Ms. O's pretty mad so I can't stay too long... "

"It'll just take a moment," Otto patted him on the back.

"Um... Okay..." Oscar knew something was up but wasn't really sure what.

Quickly, Olive changed the subject. "So you caught Odd Todd's girlfriend?"

"I never wanted to be famous!" Selene sobbed. "I'm so sorry! I never wanted to be a child star! It was all my mother's idea!" She wiped her eyes. "I've always dreamed of just being a humble animation cell painter."

"A most commendable goal, young Selene," Batman leaned over the still sniffling girl. "A child should never be forced into acting or performing against his or her will simply to gratify the ego of an ambitious parent."

"Especially if it leads to a life of crime!" Robin interjected.

"Certainly, there's nothing wrong with a career in the arts if that's what one wants," Batman went on. "There are many people who started acting as children and went on to long and successful careers. But if you're only in it for wealth and fame and not to exercise your creativity, it can be a damaging, even scarring experience. And of course one must avoid the pitfalls of exploitation..."

As Batman droned on, Otto noticed the strangest look on Oscar's face. He was staring at Olive and his expression slowly changed, becoming cruel, vicious, almost predatory. Otto was honestly scared for a moment. Then Oscar seemed to catch himself. He blinked, swallowed, and looked around.

"Um..." Oscar suddenly stood up. "I... No offense, Olive, Otto, but I... I... I think it might be better if Batman went with me to the lab..."

"Well..." Batman looked down at the very anxious Oscar. "All right, son, if that's what you want. Coming, Robin?"

"You bet!" Robin ran to join them as they walked toward the door. "I'd really like to see this Odd Squad headquarters of yours!"

"Ah, it's not so much..."

The door shut behind them.

The others looked at one another.

"Well..." Olive sighed. "We'd best get back to the Commissioner's office and wait for them."

Otto nodded. "And try to calm Ms. O down..." He sighed. "That's going to be fun..."

#

"WHAT DO YOU _MEAN_ OSCAR ISN'T WITH YOU?"

Otto and Olive both started trying to explain simultaneously until Ms. O held up her hand.

"You!" She pointed to Otto. "Explain. NOW!"

Swallowing hard, Otto tried his best to tell his boss what had happened earlier.

Commissioner Gordon would have helped him, but shortly after entering his office, he'd been distracted by the spectacle of Doctor O dangling a catnip-filled toy mouse in front of Olaf's open mouth. After a moment or so, a cat leapt from Olaf's throat onto the floor, followed by another, and another, and another. Eventually, there were about twenty cats milling about, mewing and purring and rubbing against The Commissioner's leg.

Doctor O shone a small flashlight in Olaf's mouth. "That should do it." She flicked off the light. "You're going to have to stop eating tuna and sleeping with the windows open."

"Kitty..." Olaf petted one cat as a sighing Oren tried to herd the others out the door.

"So that's what happened, Ms. O," Otto concluded. Ms. O still looked skeptical. "Oscar'll be here as soon as he gets his hair-growbackinator gadget."

"We thought it'd be best," Olive added. "You know how sensitive he is about his hair."

"And he _really_ needs it," Otto jumped back in. "Odd Todd shaved the poor guy bald as a bowling ball."

"What?" Doctor O demanded, suddenly right behind them. "Oscar's bald?" She paced about. "This is bad. This is really bad."

"Bad?" Otto swallowed. "How bad?"

"Bad bad."

Olive paled. "You mean bad bad bad?"

"Bad bad bad bad," Doctor O paced nervously.

Otto leaned forward. "But is it bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad?"

"Worse," Doctor O responded. "Have either of you ever read _The New England Journal of Odd Medicine_?"

Ms. O, meanwhile, was pondering. "Hair from a blond and virtuous youth. That's a very bad sign..."

#

"So... The wolf-bone?" Odd Todd crossed his arms.

"Well, there's good news and bad news..." The Joker glanced over, then turned his attention back to the road. "It just so happens wealthy millionaire Bruce Wayne recently received a complete Macedonian she-wolf skeleton for his collection."

Todd raised an eyebrow. "He collects Macedonian she-wolf skeletons?"

"Yes, yes, isn't that a fortunate coincidence?"

Odd Todd sighed and shook his head in disgust. The Joker went on.

"Not so fortunately, Wayne and his staff are likely to remember me from previous times we've crossed paths."

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "You do have a way of burning yourself into people's memories."

The Jokermobile screeched to a halt just outside the gate to Stately Wayne Manor.

"So you'll have to find a way of getting it yourself. Good hunting, Toddy."

Todd climbed out of the car and looked around. "And what'll you be doing during all this?"

"Oh, I'll be working on the next item on our list: Three pounds of potato skins!"

The Jokermobile pulled away, disappearing down the road in a cloud of dust.

"Great," Odd Todd reached behind his back to produce his disguise kit. "Lucky for him I already have a plan..."

#

Ducking their heads, Batman and Robin entered Oscar's lab.

"Very impressive, Oscar! You've done quite well for yourself!"

Oscar smiled, embarrassed. "Well, it's no Batcave..."

Robin looked around at all the gadgets. "Do you think you'll be able to find your hair-grow-back... device?"

"Sure!" Oscar marched over to his work-bench and started tossing gadgets out of the way. "What do you want it for anyway?"

Batman and Robin looked at each other.

"This... isn't going to be easy." Clearing his throat, Batman began. "Oscar... Sometimes in the battle against injustice, one finds oneself confronted with unpleasant, even emotionally shattering situations..."

The spare portable Batphone rang.

"Just a moment, Oscar." Turning his back on the boy scientist, he answered the phone. "Yes, Commissioner?" Pause. "What?" Pause. "Yes, as it happens I do read _The New England Journal of Odd Medicine_ , though I haven't had a chance to peruse the latest issue..."

While Batman talked, Oscar selected a gadget from the pile.

Robin smiled. "Is that the...?"

Oscar smiled back, eyes cold. "Nope."

He fired, blasting both Batman and Robin unconscious.

Oscar stood over the fallen heroes, his labcoat billowing like demonic wings. "Heh, heh, heh..." Taking out his pocket control, he summoned his Oscarbots to assist him.

#

"Wait a minute..." Otto was still trying to grasp it all. "Oscar's turning evil?"

Doctor O nodded. "Yes."

"Just because his head got shaved?"

Doctor O nodded. "Yes."

Olive interrupted. "Is there any way to change him back?"

Doctor O nodded. "Yes."

"How?"

Doctor O nodded. "Yes." She blinked. "Sorry. Got stuck for a minute." She took a deep breath. "As a super-scientist, Oscar is highly susceptible to Luthor's Syndrome, a tendency to become evil upon the sudden, complete loss of hair. If his hair's restored, however, he'll return to his normal self."

Otto exhaled. "So all we hafta do is zap him with the hair-grow-backinator gadget."

"Or wait until his hair grows back on its own," Doctor O paced briskly. "The real problem is making sure he doesn't do anything he'll regret when he comes to his senses..."

#

"Ah, Batman and Robin. Awake at last, I see..."

The heroes' eyes fluttered open. Quickly, they sized up their situation: Bound by chains and hanging upside-down in a large storage room somewhere in Odd Squad headquarters.

"Oscar," Batman kept his voice level. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Oscar replied. "You're just both going to die." He dissolved into giggles.

"WHAT?" Robin looked from Oscar to Batman. "Holy Benedict Arnold, he's turned traitor!"

"Don't judge him too harshly, Robin," Batman cautioned. "The Commissioner explained the entire matter to me over the phone." He then addressed the boy scientist. "Oscar, you're suffering from a nervous reaction. You don't really want to do this..."

"Yes I do!" Oscar blinked and adjusted his glasses. "At least, I think I do. No, no, I'm pretty sure I do. Well, we'll try it and see how it goes. A-hem..." He cleared his throat. "MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH... Where are those Oscarbots? They're always..."

Several Oscarbots entered, each carrying a small metal box. Oscar took one of the boxes and opened it while the Oscarbots emptied the rest on the floor.

"This," he explained. "Is a spider-cat." He held the groggy, slumbering half-cat, half-spider creature up for them to see.

Robin cringed. "Holy taxidermy..."

Oscar petted the spider-cat in his arms. "They're quite vicious and extremely poisonous. Fortunately, they're also nocturnal. That means they hunt at night and sleep in the daytime."

Batman sighed. "We know what 'nocturnal' means, Oscar."

Oscar shrugged. "Well, anyway, bright light, like the lights in this room, tends to make them sleepy." He dropped the spider-cat on the floor; it stumbled into the shadows. "When the lights go out, however..." He smiled. "They tend to swarm."

Motioning to the Oscarbots, he led them to the door.

"Oh, and don't bother looking for your utility belts. They're in my lab for safekeeping."

He paused and held the door open while the Oscarbots filed out with the empty boxes.

"You'll die... In agony..." He blinked and shook his head. "I don't know why I find that so funny..."

"Oscar..." Batman tried to make eye-contact. "Listen to me..."

"G'bye!" He flicked off the lights and slammed and locked the door.

#

Meanwhile at Stately Wayne Manor, Alfred had just answered a knock on the door to find a bespectacled lad in a labcoat and bowtie.

"Hello, I'm Agent Oscar from Odd Squad!" Odd Todd flashed a badge and quickly tucked it away in his pocket. "May I come in?"

#


	8. Chapter 8

"And that's all I know! I swear!" Selene swallowed nervously, staring up at Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara in the interrogation room.

The Commissioner nodded. "Chief, take some of your men. Go check out this abandoned school she mentioned."

"Right, Commissioner!" Chief O'Hara started to leave, then turned to glare at Selene. "But if this turns out to be some sort of trick..."

"No tricks, honest!" Selene held up her hands. "I'm totally reformed now! I'm so deeply ashamed of my criminal past and only wish to be worthy of Agent Oscar!" She sighed. Commissioner Gordon did too, for completely different reasons. "Oh, sweet, handsome Oscar! He's my one true..."

Agent Oren came in and handed Commissioner Gordon some papers. Selene smiled at him.

"Hello!" She purred, stars in her eyes.

Oren squirmed. "Um... hi..."

He backed out of the room quickly and rejoined his partner in the hall.

"This blows. Y'wanna head out for some lunch?"

"Nuh-uh!" Olaf held up a newspaper he'd found somewhere.

"Gotham City 35th Annual..." Oren grimaced. "...Potato Festival..."

As he expected, Olaf seized him and dragged him down the hall.

"POTATO!"

#

After shutting and locking the door to his improvised death-trap, Oscar strolled away, singing quietly to himself.

"Take away one... Take away one... Take away another one... And another one... And another one..." He giggled manically. Then he stopped, staring straight ahead. "Why am I doing this? _Why_ am I doing this? Why...?"

He noticed something to his right and turned, finding himself staring into one of Ms. O's randomly placed gilt-edged mirrors, scattered around headquarters so she could admire herself when the mood struck her.

"Oh... Oh _my_..." His hand crept up to his bald head. "My _hair..._ " He stared at the cold eyes, the vicious expression, and swallowed hard. "Horrors! Is that _me_?"

 **"Don't you know?"**

Oscar jumped. The reflection smiled back at him.

 **"Don't you _know?"_**

Oscar shook his head.

 **"I am the real you: A treacherous, relentless hunter."**

"I.. I..." He straightened his bowtie. "Am I really?" He shook his head again, more fiercely this time. "No, no, no. Maybe..." He fumbled for his badge phone. "Maybe Doctor O can help me..."

 **"There is no one to help you. Only me."** The reflection smiled. **"And I'm the beast."** Oscar found himself smiling back.

 **"We're going to have some fun in this headquarters."**

The voice in Oscar's head whispered, Oscar's lips moving silently as he stared at his reflection.

#

Yes, yes," Odd Todd squinted through his glasses and fiddled with his bowtie. "A Macedonian she-wolf skeleton," He looked around and held up his hand in a stage-whisper. "The rumor is, some terribly wicked people are plotting to abscond with it." He smiled, putting his arms behind his back. "That's why Odd Squad sent me, Agent Oscar, to protect it."

"Ah, yes. Of course." Alfred did his best to sound nonchalant while once again surreptitiously pressing a small button hidden in his belt buckle. The Alfred alarm in Batman and Robin's utility belts beeped futilely in Oscar's lab. "Right this way, sir..."

#

Upon arriving back at headquarters via the jump-tubes, Olive, Otto, Doctor O and Owen had gone straight to Oscar's lab. While Doctor O located the hair-growbackinator gadget, the others discovered the utility belts on Oscar's workbench.

"Bad bad bad bad bad bad?"

Olive nodded. "Squared. We have to find Oscar fast, before something terrible happens."

"But... What's the big deal?" Otto shrugged. "I mean, come on. It's **Oscar.** How dangerous could he be?"

They all looked at one another.

"Right. I'll check the Hall of Doors."

"I'll check the Creature Room."

"I'll go get a pizza."

They all glared at Owen.

"What? Hey, it's my break time!" He shrugged. "Anyone else want anything?"

Olive stopped Otto from answering. Then they heard wild, crazed laughter down in the middle of the main room.

 **Hear me, Odd Squad!"** He shouted up at them. **"I am no longer the goofball you knew! I am fire! I am life incarnate! Now and forever... I AM ODDSCAR!"** He wrapped his labcoat around him like a cloak and stalked off, giggling uncontrollably.

"He's out of control," Doctor O said quietly. "That's not even the right franchise."

"We'd better split up. Owen, you see if you can find Bat..." She turned to see Owen had already left for the pizzeria and sighed ruefully. "Doctor O, you go that way. Otto and I will go this way..."

#

"Oh Odd Todd, you malevolent _genius_ , you..." Todd caressed the thigh bone he'd pried loose from the skeleton on display in a backroom of Wayne Manor, then adjusted his glasses, tilting them crookedly to one side, mussed his coat, and undid his tie. Tucking the bone under his labcoat, he headed toward the door. "Now all I have to do is wait 'til the butler comes back, convince him some crooks overpowered me..."

Opening the door a crack, he overheard Alfred on the telephone.

"Oh, thank _heavens_ you happened to be there, Miss... Batgirl. I've been unable to reach... Um, Mister Wayne. And we have a situation at Wayne Manor..."

In Commissioner Gordon's office, Batgirl was on Commissioner Gordon's private phone line. "No. No, I'm positive Odd Squad hasn't sent any agents your way... Did you say he claimed to be Agent Oscar?" Behind her, Ms. O and Ori looked at one another.

"Indeed, miss. That was, shall we say, the tip-off. I happen to have met young Oscar. And while it was admittedly some time ago, I'm quite certain he could not have changed _that_ much..."

Todd cursed under his breath. "How in the _world_ could he...?"

"Then there was the matter of his badge being a paper cut-out..."

Todd glared at the fake badge in his wallet. "Hey, the Facebook Page said it was official..."

"I'm almost certain it's that 'Odd Todd' fellow, disguised to steal the skeleton. Yes, please hurry. Mrs. Cooper's just upstairs and I fear she would not be able to cope with an altercation..."

Quickly but silently shutting the door, Odd Todd pulled out his cellphone and made a call of his own. Then he slipped out of the room through a side exit.

#

"This is spooky..." Otto looked around. "Where _is_ everyone?"

"He probably had his Oscarbots lock everyone else up," Olive responded. "That is, I hope he just... He..." She fought back tears.

"Olive... Olive, listen," Otto grabbed Olive's hands. "This isn't like what happened to Todd. Oscar's going to be all right. All we need to do is zap him and he'll be back to normal... Well, back to Oscar, anyway..."

"But what if he's hurt someone?" Olive was shaking. "What if he's really hurt someone? He'll never be able to forgive himself." She tried to stay calm. "What could he have done with Batman and Robin?"

"He probably just zapped them with a gadget or something," Otto smiled reassuringly. "I mean, it's not like he's gonna chain them in a room with a bunch of spider-cats or something..."

"EEEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Both agents jumped, looking around frantically for Odd Todd. Then they spotted Oscar across the room.

"Wow," Otto gasped, impressed despite himself. "He's got that laugh _down_."

Olive screwed up her courage. "Stop right there, Oscar!"

Oscar smiled and stepped back, wheeling an enormous cannon-like gadget toward them. Olive screamed and shrank into Otto's side.

"Oh, man..." Otto looked from the cannon to Olive to Oscar and back again. "That's not... I mean, is that... That can't be..."

"The Pienado!" Olive covered her head.

#

Across town, The Jokermobile pulled up behind The Gotham City Fairgrounds. The Joker stepped out, checking the newspaper he'd purloined somewhere.

"The 35th Annual Gotham City Potato Festival! Oh, the peelings should be splendid here! Absolutely perfect for an alchemist's potion!"

He jimmied open a door in back as Oren and Olaf paid for their tickets at the front pavilion.

#

"Do you think Odd Todd will hurt Alfred or Mrs. Cooper?"

Ori shrugged, holding on to Batgirl as they rode her Batgirl-Cycle through the country-side, racing toward Wayne Manor. Ms. O rode beside them on her Scwinn, pedaling furiously.

"I doubt it," Ms. O responded. To Batgirl's surprise, she wasn't even out of breath. "He usually doesn't hurt people if he can avoid it. Besides, with any luck, he probably thinks he still has them fooled!"

"Right," Batgirl nodded. "So if Alfred just plays along..."

Suddenly, they heard the whine of engines behind them. Ori looked back.

"Hey, there's someone coming!" He shouted. "Some guy on a motorcycle!"

"Three guys on motorcycles," Ms. O corrected. "And they've just left the main road."

The three heroes saw the dust-clouds on either side of them as the cycles tore past them across the grass. The sound faded as the cycles passed them. Then they rounded a corner and saw them again lined up across the road, blocking their way.

"Uh-oh..." Ori scrunched down behind Batgirl.

Three feminine figures clad head to toe in black leather stepped off from the cycles as Ms. O and Batgirl slowed to a stop.

"Is there a problem?" Batgirl asked pertly.

The figures stepped forward. They wore motorcycle helmets but the heroes noticed the jagged patches with the crazy-quilt pattern over their hearts, the only spot of color in their outfits.

Ms. O shot a sideways look at Batgirl. "The Todd Squad."

They removed their helmets, shaking out their long, blonde hair.

"Boss called us," the leader of the trio hissed, producing a switchblade. "Y'ain't getting near the boss."

Batgirl stepped down from her cycle, setting Ori down safely behind her. "Oh, really?"

The smallest of the group made a series of hand gestures.

"Yeah, Truby. Let's have some music."

Truby switched on a small radio mounted on the handlebars of her cycle. Surf-guitar music blared out as the two groups circled one another, preparing for battle.

"Tilya!" One of the girls brandished a chain. "Lemme have the purple chick!"

"No, Telena!" The leader responded, grinning wickedly. "She's mine!" She waved her switchblade and advanced on Batgirl.

#

Ducking Alfred, Odd Todd hurried through the halls of Wayne Manor, trying doors until he found himself in Bruce Wayne's private study. He dashed inside and shut the door.

"Hmmm..."

Spotting a small bottle of after-shave on the desk, he ran over and pocketed it.

"Wonder if there's anything else in here I can use..."

He glanced over the desk, noting the ordinary-looking black phone and the bright red phone right next to it. Grabbing the bust of Shakespeare, he was surprised to find it bolted down. As he struggled with it, he discovered the head swung up to reveal a small dial.

"Hm. Must be where he stores his money or something..."

Odd Todd twisted the dial, watching the desk intently for any sliding panels or hidden doors.

Behind him, the bookcase against the wall slid to one side, revealing two poles labeled 'Bruce' and 'Dick.' On the wall behind them, posted in clear block letters: 'SECRET ENTRANCE TO BATCAVE'.

#


	9. Chapter 9

Odd Todd heard something moving behind him. Before he could turn to look, he heard Alfred, the Wayne family butler, coming toward the door.

"Blast!"

Todd quickly closed the Shakespeare bust and ran to hide behind the curtains, just missing seeing the secret entrance to the Batcave slide closed. Alfred poked his head in, looked around, and left.

As soon as he was gone, Odd Todd undid the latch on the picture window, slipped out, and climbed down to the lawn to make his escape.

#

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO, YOU..."

Chief O'Hara struggled to keep his grip on Delilah, whom he'd just dragged into Commissioner Gordon's headquarters.

"Jackpot, Commissioner!" the Chief explained to Gordon. "The hooligans were there all right, and without their leader, they surrendered pretty quick. We've recovered most of the stolen merchandise, though somewhat worse the wear, I'm afraid. Plus, we found this she-cat locked in a closet."

"Excellent!" Commissioner Gordon glared at her. "A shameful thing, forcing your own daughter into a life of crime just to feed your hunger for fame and fortune!" He sighed in disgust. "Take her downstairs and put her in a holding cell. I'll call Warden Crichton..."

"I know my rights, I know my rights!" Delilah shouted back. "I want my one phone call!"

"Aye, and ye already had it!" Chief O'Hara responded. He turned to Gordon. "She called her publicist."

"Indeed! Well, I know how to fix that!" Commissioner Gordon called his secretary on the intercom. "Bonnie, see that we're not disturbed. I especially want no press."

"No... Press?" Delilah's eyes went wide. "NOOOOOOO!" She was still screaming as the police matron led her away.

Commissioner Gordon nodded. "That's good enough for the likes of her! Now all that's left are the two ringleaders!"

"Oh, and we found this list on a blackboard in a classroom," he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Commissioner Gordon. The Commissioner skimmed it, smiling.

"Well, now we're getting somewhere!"

#

Olive stared into Oscar's eyes. They reminded her of Odd Todd, glowing with a wild rage. And behind the rage, absolute desolation.

Oscar stared at Olive and Otto. His face softened slightly.

"You... weren't supposed to be here..."

"Oscar..." Olive tried to keep her voice level. "You... The Pienado, Oscar?"

"Yes, well..." Oscar shrugged. "Y'know, I know it's derivative but it's _such_ a great idea, I felt like it could stand another go-round..."

Otto shifted his weight to his other foot. "You're planning on releasing a pienado in headquarters?"

"No, no, no..." Oscar sniffed. "I mean, that's been _done._ I kinda wanna take it out to the middle of town. That'd be so great..."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

"Well, yes. I think so, yes. Yes, definitely. I... Well, you know, it's more a madcap, zany sort of thing..."

The agents looked around, finally spotting Doctor O on the catwalk above. She was almost close enough to zap him but needed a couple more seconds. Oscar's bald head was sweating profusely, his scalp growing redder and redder. And as they watched, white letters seem to form, etched on his forehead: 'HELP ME.'

"I can't let you, Oscar," Olive said quietly.

Oscar's eyes hardened. "You can't stop me."

"If you want to destroy the city," Olive positioned herself directly in front of the pienado. "You're going to have to go through me first."

#

The Todd Squad edged toward Batgirl, Ms. O, and Ori, twangy surf guitar music echoing in the background. Ori nodded his head in time to the music, smiled, and started dancing. Truby stared at him, shrugged, and started dancing too.

Snarling, Tilya leapt at Batgirl, slashing with her switchblade. Batgirl dodged to one side, spun, and kicked the blade out of her hand.

Telena's length of chain whipped at Ms. O, who caught it between her teeth. Then she bit it in half.

"Uh-oh..."

Tilya leapt at Batgirl again, who dodged again. Reaching behind a bush, Batgirl produced a vase and hurled it at her opponent.

" _What_ in the...?"

Tilya caught the vase and tossed it aside, then just managed to dodge as Batgirl balanced on one leg and kicked at her chin.

Telena ran past them into the woods, a viciously grinning Ms. O in hot pursuit.

Grabbing a fallen tree branch, Tilya swung it like a club. Batgirl ducked, spun gracefully, grabbed another vase that had just dropped down from a tree, and hurled it at Tilya, who batted it away with her club. Batgirl did another high kick, knocking the branch out of her hands.

"What... What's with the high kicks and the vases?" Tilya snarled. "Why can't you just fight like a normal person?"

Batgirl sniffed. "Because it's not ladylike."

Telena ran past them again, a growling Ms. O hot on her heels.

Ori and Truby continued dancing.

#

Oren stepped into the convention center.

"It seems... strangely quiet in... Oh no! OLAF! OLAF, DON'T LOOK!"

It was too late. Olaf stared in horror at the hundreds of potatoes thrown about the huge amphitheater. Skinned and tossed aside, they lay exposed and raw on the floor, on the tables and chairs, wherever they'd been thrown, abandoned and left to rot.

With a strangled sob, Olaf ran past his partner and knelt on the floor, cradling a dirty, skinned potato in his hands.

"You will be avenged, my little ones."

Just then, The Joker stepped in, a huge sack of potato peelings flung over his shoulder.

#

"C'mon, Oscar," Otto edged toward Oscar, trying to sound casual. "You don't wanna do this."

"Oscar, listen to me," Olive added. "You're suffering from an Odd Disease. Just let us help you and everything'll be back to normal..."

"You won't stop me." Oscar's voice was a growl. "Nobody can stop Oddscar..."

Olive paled slightly but kept her position in front of the cannon. Doctor O was still edging toward them. But she needed a few more seconds.

Otto reached behind his back. "Okay Oscar, if you won't listen to us," Oscar watched carefully, his finger on the trigger to released the Pienado. "Maybe you'll listen to... _him!_ "

Otto held up a stuffed bear. Oscar reeled back, his eyes clearing. "Norman... is that you?"

Olive looked toward her partner and nodded. Good thinking.

"Come on, Oscar," Otto said in his best teddy bear voice, bobbing Norman back and forth in time with the words. "You don't wanna hurt me, do ya?"

"No! I... No... No..."

Doctor O was almost in position...

"Wait!" Oscar looked up at Otto. "That's not Norman's voice! Norman has a Scottish accent!"

Otto and Olive looked at one another. "He... _What?"_

" _IT'S A TRICK!_ "

Realizing she had to strike now, Doctor O fired the hair-grow-backinator. Oscar dodged, flipped, and leapt up onto the catwalk, high above them. He stood there, hissing balefully at the agents below.

Otto's jaw was on the floor. "Holy..."

Oscar blinked, looking around. "Wait a second. How the Heck did I do that?"

Seizing the moment, Doctor O fired again, hitting him dead-on. Oscar shuddered, stiffened, and lost his balance, falling headlong into the ball pit.

"OSCAR!"

Panic-stricken, the three agents ran to the pit, just in time to pull Oscar, sputtering and confused, out from the sea of spheres.

"Where am I? What happened?" He looked at them, adjusting his glasses. "Guys? How... What's going on?"

A huge, elaborate bouffant hairdo sat atop his head.

Olive smiled at him. "Welcome back, Agent Oscar."

#

"Well," The Joker smirked at the two Odd Squad agents. "Hello again, boys..."

Olaf glared at him. Oren could hear him growling, deep in his throat.

"Olaf... Olaf, no..."

Dropping the potato, Olaf rose slowly.

"That's The _Joker_ , Olaf, we can't..."

Olaf leapt at the villain.

#

Odd Todd ran through the grounds of Stately Wayne Manor, across the aftergrass and into the nearby woods. Pausing, he noticed a small, flowering dogwood tree.

"Ah, perfect!" He snapped off a branch. Then he continued to the nearby road. Crouching in the brush, he watched his Todd Squad's battle, such as it was, with Batgirl and the Odd Squad agents. He reached behind his back.

Tilya was dodging yet another kick and catching yet another vase when a smoke-bomb sailed over her head. Smiling, she turned to see Odd Todd racing from the woods, she-wolf bone in hand.

"GO!"

The bomb exploded, thick clouds of multi-colored smoke blinding everyone. Tilya ran and leapt onto her motorcycle, Todd bounding into the sidecar. They raced off, leaving Batgirl, Ori, Ms. O, and the rest of The Todd Squad behind.

Coughing, Ms. O produced a faninator to disperse the smoke.

"Well," Batgirl sighed. "Those two got away. But we still have this pair!" She nodded toward Telena and Truby.

Despite the music having stopped, Ori and Truby were still dancing.

Telena rolled her eyes. "This is so totally lame..."

Ms. O was about to say something when her badge-phone rang.

"Go for O!" Pause. "Good, good." Ms. O nodded, then stopped, confusion written across her face. "But... _none_ of the spells need potato peelings."

#

Back at Odd Squad headquarters, a fully recovered Oscar had ordered the Oscarbots to release his prisoners. The newly freed agents filed past Olive, Otto, and Doctor O on their way back to their work stations.

"Sorry..." Oscar was at the end of the line, handing them compensation packets of M&Ms as they passed him. "Sorry... Sorry... Bit of a mixup back there, sorry... Heh, heh... Um... Sorry..."

A few of them stared at Oscar's hair. For the most part, however, they were just happy to get the M&Ms.

"What was the pienado doing out?" Oscar asked. "I mean, I would've thought that'd be the last thing you'd want..." Oscar saw the looks on his friends' faces. "You mean, _I..._ " He blushed. "Oh, Olive, I'm sorry..."

"Never mind," Olive responded. "At least we were able to stop you before you unleashed it on the world."

"No one was hurt," Doctor O commented. "Which is good because no one was hurt. However, it's also bad because if they had been hurt, I would have been able to help them because I'm a doctor. But since no one was hurt, they don't need a doctor. Which bums me out a little, but is also a good thing, I suppose..."

Otto blinked. "Uh, yeah."

Olive looked around. "I don't see Batman and Robin. Oscar, do you remember what you did with them?"

Oscar thought. "Batman and Robin? Oh, sure! I..." He paled. "Oboy..."

#

Crouched in the sidecar, Odd Todd hung on for dear life as Tilya took a sharp corner.

"So..." He coughed until his voice dropped back to normal. "So, you got all the stuff?"

"Right in there next to you," she responded. Odd Todd pawed through the sacks tucked in the corners of the sidecar. "Snuck 'em out just before the cops showed up."

Todd examined the sacks' contents, gloating. Another sharp curve sent him slamming against the side of the car. He donned his Panzer helmet and goggles, glaring at Tilya. But before he could say anything, they both heard a strange sound.

'eeehahaha... eeehahaha... eeehahaha...'

Reaching into his pocket, Todd pulled out his cellphone. "Hello?"

"Toddy, baby!" The Joker screamed from the phone. "You've got to help me! That little pudgy fellow, he's all over me! You've got to..."

"Sorry," Todd motioned to Tilya. "You're breaking up. I think we're going through a tunnel or something..."

"But Todd, you..."

Todd snapped the cellphone shut, then reached down to pull out the she-wolf bone.

"Well, we won't needing this anymore..." He tossed the bone over his shoulder. It bounced in the road behind them as they roared through the countryside. "Change in plans, Tilya: We're going to the airport." He leaned back, arms behind his head, smiling smugly. "I just _love_ it when an evil plan comes together, don't you? EEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

#


	10. Chapter 10

Olive, Oscar, Otto and Doctor O raced to the Spider-Cat room, each loaded down with as many boxes of Spider-Cat Anti-Venom zappers as they could carry.

Doctor O took the lead. "If they receive treatment within thirty minutes of being bitten, there shouldn't be any trouble."

Olive checked her watch. "It's been over an hour."

"Then there should be trouble."

Olive scrunched up her face. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Of COURSE there is! I'm a DOCTOR!" She paused. "I'm.. not sure what, exactly, but there must be something..."

Oscar was in full freakout mode: "I killed Batman and Robin, oh man I killed Batman and Robin, I'm gonna go to jail forever and get kicked off Odd Squad and Ms. O'll kill me and we'll hafta move again and my mom will be SO upset and I'll never get to play for the Vancouver Canucks and I'm gonna be in jail forever..."

"It's okay, Oscar," Otto then tried to figure out a way to follow up that statement. "We'll... come visit you...or..."

They skidded around the corner and Otto thought of something better.

"Look, they're _Batman and Robin!_ They've gotten out of tougher traps than this!"

"Well, not recently."

The kids screeched to a halt, the boxes falling from their arms. Batman stood before them, completely unhurt, straightening his cape.

"It was quite a challenge, though." Batman nodded. "I see you're fully recovered, Oscar." He looked over at Doctor O. "You've made certain of that, haven't you, Doctor?"

"Of COURSE I made sure! I'm a DOCTOR!" Producing a sheet of paper, she handed it to Batman. "Here's the results of the brain-scan I performed a few moments ago."

Batman looked at the scan. "Pastel colored bunny rabbits dancing in a circle?"

"Exactly." She nodded. "He's back to normal."

Oscar's mouth worked silently a moment. When he recovered his ability to move, he ran over and seized Batman in a bear hug. "Oh Batman! I didn't kill you! I'm so sorry..." He blinked. "I mean, I'm not sorry I didn't kill you, I'm sorry I tried... You know, because... I mean..."

Batman smiled. "It's all right, Oscar. We know what you mean." He looked down at the young scientist's new bouffant hairdo. "But it might be a good idea to stop at the barber shop." Oscar kept hugging him. "Commissioner Gordon can be surprisingly broad-minded, but even so..."

"But how did you escape?"

"An old magician's trick! Fortunately, I began to come around just as we were being chained up and was just alert enough to flex my muscles," Batman explained. "Then when I relaxed, I had just enough slack to work myself loose."

The kids all looked at one another. "Ooooookay..." It didn't make much sense but it apparently worked so they went with it. "But... What about the spider-cats?"

"Very simple," Batman tried to stride forward, then realized Oscar was still hugging him. He detached Oscar and resumed his speech. "As we all know, spider-cats can be lulled into a tranquil state with subsonic vibrations. I simply hummed at the lowest frequency I could manage until I was able to reach the light switch."

"See?" Otto nodded, smiling. "I told you. They can get out of anything." He looked around. "But where's Robin?"

"Robin was bitten," Batman responded sadly. "Several times, in fact." All the color drained from Oscar's face. Otto and Olive caught him before he collapsed. "However, I was able to find and administer the antidote in time." He looked around. "You might want to be careful where you step, though."

Just as the kids started nervously checking their shoes, Robin suddenly reappeared, springing up from apparently out of nowhere. "Holy Alice In Wonderland! I sure hope I never have to go through tha..." He staggered as Oscar leapt forward and hugged him. "Um, miss? Miss?"

Olive's badge phone rang. "Go for Olive..." She listened. "We've just found Batman and Robin. They're fine." More listening. "What?" More listening. " _What?_ " She looked at the others. "They've captured The Joker."

"Excellent!" Otto fist-pumped. "BOOM-caught-a-lotta!"

"Who captured him?" Robin asked. "Batgirl? The other Odd Squad agents?"

Olive shook her head. "He just called the police station and gave himself up."

#

A short tube ride and a Batmobile trip later, Batman, Robin, Olive and Otto were wandering through what was left of the convention center.

"It... looks like a cyclone hit it..."

Olive stepped carefully around piles of sticky silly-string and rubble, following the caped crusaders as they explored the ruined building. Otto gulped at the gouged claw-marks in the walls, the shattered furniture, the exposed electrical wiring, the twisted pipes...

"Stay alert!" Batman warned. "This could be a trick!"

Robin tried to open the door to get to the next room. He grabbed the doorknob, pulled, and the entire door fell into his arms.

"Holy... It's been ripped clean off its hinges!"

Batman looked around grimly. "What sort of rampaging beast could have done all this?"

Just then, they heard the howling. Otto and Olive looked at one another.

Otto shook his head. "Naaaah. That's just crazy."

"Odd Squad!" Chief O'Hara called from nearby. "Yuir friend, the one with the... um... speech impediment... He's got him cornered in an upstairs office. Top floor."

#

Fortunately, the elevators still worked. The quartet arrived just as The Joker was being led, hand-cuffed, disheveled, his usually natty suit torn to rags, into the corridor.

"This is humiliating! I'm the Clown Prince of Crime! Who would have thought a goofy little dumpling with a potato fetish could destroy my beautiful wickedness? I can't even..."

Olaf was crouched nearby. As the police led The Joker past him, he growled. The Joker yelped and cringed back.

"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!" Spotting Olive and Otto, The Joker glared at them. "Odd Squad, you cheated! You cheated! What kind of lunatics do you have working for you anyway? This is preposterous!"

Otto and Olive exchanged looks. "Olaf?"

Olaf looked at them, reached into his pocket, and produced a small, bruised, peeled potato, clutching it against his cheek. "Potato..." He sobbed.

Wandering around the corner, Oskana plucked the potato from his hand. "Waste not, want not." She tossed it into the metal tub she carried, which was already filled with the other potatoes she'd gathered up. "Just wash 'em off and they'll be as good as new." She walked off the way she came.

Olaf contemplated this. "Oh." He smiled and stood up, straightening his tie. "Okay then."

"OKAY THEN?" The Joker screeched. "OKAY THEN?"

"Come on, men," Chief O'Hara motioned to the officers. "Take 'im away."

"I'll remember this, Odd Squad!" The Joker shouted. "And if you see my little fashioned-challenged protégé, tell him he gets an F!" He struggled as he was led off to the paddy wagon waiting below. "An F MINUS!"

"Olaf? Olaf, are you here?"

They turned to see a gasping, exhausted Oren running down the hall.

"Olaf!" He stumbled toward them. "You're okay!"

Olive stared. "What happened to you?'

Oren took a deep breath. "The Joker... And Olaf was chasing him... All through the building... I ran... Thirty flights of stairs... And down... And up... Twice..." He clutched his stomach.

"Oren?" Olive took a step toward him.

He shuddered, turned, shook violently, and threw up all over Batman.

"OREN!"

"I... I..." Oren blinked. "Batman?" He smiled awkwardly. "I've... always wanted to meet you..."

"Um... Yes..." Batman drew his cape around himself.

Oren stood, swaying slightly, looking up at the Caped Crusader like he was about to cry.

Before Batman could console him, Olaf ran over.

"It's okay, partner! I fix!" Olaf pulled out a gadget and fired it at Oren. "Reversinator gadget!"

Bathed in a multi-colored light, Oren repeated the last few seconds backwards, the vomit detaching itself from Batman's uniform and flying back down Oren's throat. Olaf turned off the gadget and Oren stood, eyes wide as saucers, processing what had just happened.

Olive and Otto exchanged looks. "Oren? Are you all right?"

Oren finished processing what just happened.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!"

Hand over his mouth, he ran out of the room.

Olaf pulled out a pad and paper and handed it to Batman. "When he feel better, he will want your autograph..."

#

Back near Odd Squad headquarters, Oscar was headed to the nearest barber. He paused to check his reflection in a store window.

"Cripes," he muttered, scowling at the bouffant he was wearing against his will. "I look like Miss Yvonne..."

Rounding the corner, he was just in time to see Agent Odie emerge, fluffing _his_ new bouffant.

"There!" He admired himself in a small hand-mirror. "I'd like to see that hair-pirate Oscar steal THIS..."

He lowered the mirror to see an embarrassed Oscar standing apologetically in front of him.

"Um... Hi?"

Odie's lower lip trembled. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"

Turning on his heel, Odie stormed back into the barber-shop.

"JUST SHAVE IT ALL OFF! ALL OF IT! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"

"Agent Odie!" Oscar ran after him. "Agent Odie, WAIT!"

#

"...And we found this in the road," Batgirl placed the she-wolf bone on Commissioner Gordon's desk. "Also, the Wayne family butler said a rare flowering dogwood tree on the estate had been damaged. Someone had broken off one of the branches."

"How strange," Commissioner Gordon rubbed his chin. "Why would Odd Todd go through so much trouble to steal that bone, just to throw it away? And why vandalize a tree?"

"I have a suspicion," Ms. O sipped her juice box. "Do you have the stolen items recovered from the villains' hideout?"

"Yes, yes, they're right over here," The Commissioner led them over to the table where the items were arranged.

"And the list of the items that were stolen?"

"Right here." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper, and handed it to her. Ms. O headed over to inspect the items. "But I don't see..."

"Just as I thought! Seven bags of sugar were stolen!" Ms. O pointed. "But only one... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six bags were recovered!"

Batgirl and Commissioner Gordon looked at one another. "There's a bag missing!"

"And a bag of salt... And two bottles of rum..."

Commissioner Gordon scratched his head. "How could my men have missed them?"

"I don't think they did," Ms. O walked around the table. "You'll notice Elpha Kratt's diamond-studded feather boa. The feathers are here..."

"But the diamonds aren't!" Batgirl gasped.

"But..." The Commissioner pondered. "What could it mean?"

"Commissioner," Ms. O turned to him. "Have there been any other pointless or inexplicable thefts during The Joker and Odd Todd's crime spree?"

"As a matter of fact, there have been!" Commissioner Gordon produced some papers from his desk. "Several, in fact! All by a trio of girls!"

Ms. O and Batgirl exchanged looks. "Did you get a description?"

"Yes, yes," he shuffled through his papers looking for the relevant pages. "They were young, attractive, in motorcycle gear, all blondes with a..." It finally hit him. "...A single black streak in their hair..."

"The Todd Squad!"

Batgirl looked over the list. "A spool of blue thread... Crushed gardenia blossoms... Five copper pennies..."

"But... But Odd Todd can't make his immortality potion now! We've recovered the items he stole!" Commissioner Gordon gestured to the table. "And even if he could, what would be the point? His partner's been captured!"

"Odd Todd never intended to make that potion!" Ms. O slurped from her juice box.

Batgirl was lost. "But... The Joker..."

"Odd Todd was using him! He tricked The Joker into teaming up with him and staged this entire crime spree to distract us!" Ms. O paced around the room. "That's why he added that fake item about potato peelings! He probably came up with that part of the plan after discovering Oren and Olaf were in town!"

The light dawned for Batgirl. "He deliberately set The Joker up to be captured..."

"The little scoundrel!" Commissioner Gordon exploded. "But... What's his real plan?"

"Let me see that list!" Ms. O snatched the piece of paper and skimmed over it. "Oh no. Oh NO. That explains the frogs..."

Batgirl looked at her. "He's making another potion, isn't he?"

"Yup." Ms. O drained her juice box. "And if we don't stop him before he finishes it, Gotham City is doomed!"

The phone rang. Commissioner Gordon answered it. "Yes, Bonnie?" Brief pause. "The kaleidoscopic kid criminal's struck again! Odd Todd and his moll just held up Cap's Hobby Hut on Maple Drive! All they took was a model rocket!"

Batgirl looked puzzled. "A model...?"

Ms. O was already pressing her badge phone. "Otto! Olive! Oscar! Batman and Robin! Meet us at Gotham City Airport!" She charged toward the door. "I just hope we're not too late!"

#


	11. Chapter 11

The Batmobile screeched to a stop beside the Gotham City Airport Terminal. The Batgirl-Cycle arrived seconds later.

"Hurry!" Ms. O shouted as she climbed off the Cycle. "We have to find Odd Todd! He has to be around here somewhere!"

Batman leapt from the driver's seat. "Ah! You've deduced his plan, then!"

"He's created a different potion!" Batgirl explained to the new arrivals. "The one we thought he was interested in was just a distraction!"

Producing another juice-box and stabbing a straw into its depths, Ms. O filled the others in on what she'd deduced.

"The arrogant, reckless young fool!" Batman exclaimed. "Doesn't he realize the danger he's placed himself into?"

Robin thought a moment, then gasped. "When the Joker finds out he's been tricked..."

Olive grimaced. "Todd's never been that great with impulse control."

"He's going to launch his concoction in a model rocket from this airport!"

Olive watched Otto try to leap out of the Batmobile like Batman and Robin. Finally, she reached over and opened the door so they could both get out.

"But..." Still trying to leap, Otto tripped and nearly fell getting out of the car. He recovered his footing quickly and looked around, hoping no one noticed. "But why here? It's a model rocket! He should be able to fire it off anywhere!"

"This airport has the highest elevation in Gotham City!" Robin explained. "If he wants his rocket to reach as far as possible, he'll have to fire it here!"

It didn't make sense to Olive either but she shrugged and let it go. Then she realized...

"The handcuffs... That explains the handcuffs!" She turned to look at Otto. "Don't you see? He _wanted_ us to escape!"

"Of course he did," Ms. O nodded. "Todd's no murderer."

"But... Then why did he hit the button and activate the volcano?"

Otto shrugged. "Maybe he changed his mind."

Oscar came running from the general direction of the bus stop. "Oh, hey guys!" He smoothed his freshly trimmed hair. "Sorry I'm late. I just had a heck of a time calming down Agent Odie! Would you believe he'd..."

"Not NOW, Oscar!" Olive hissed, scanning the area frantically. "We've got to find Todd!"

Oscar looked around. "Todd? Oh, he's up on that roof there..."

They all looked where Oscar was pointing. Odd Todd was indeed on the roof of the airport terminal assembling his model rocket.

"Oh, NO..."

The heroes ran toward the terminal.

#

"Odd Todd is awesome..." Todd sang quietly to himself as he mixed his potion in a small copper pot over a hotplate. "Odd Todd is awesome... Doncha wish you were Odd Todd... Cause I totally own it right now..."

Tilya knelt beside him, arranging the ingredients.

Todd snapped his fingers. "Cinnamon!"

She handed him the cinnamon. He sprinkled it in the potion.

"Onion!"

She handed him an onion.

"Dogwood bark..." He reached behind his back, produced the branch, peeled off some bark, and dropped it into the potion with the onion.

"Now... The blood of a virgin..." He produced the handkerchief he'd used to wipe Oscar's forehead earlier.

"Are you sure it's a virgin?"

" _Yes, I'm sure it's a virgin!_ "

He twisted the handkerchief, wringing it until a drop or so of blood dribbled into the bubbling mixture.

Tilya raised an eyebrow.

"Look, it's Oscar, okay?"

Tilya raised both eyebrows.

"He's ELEVEN, okay?"

Tilya sighed and shrugged. "If you say so..."

Odd Todd grimaced, stirring the potion. "If I say so... What does that mean, if I say so? He's eleven, I don't care what the fanfics say, of course he's..."

The potion steamed. Todd involuntarily jumped back. Then it calmed down again. He snarled, snorted angrily, and motioned to Tilya.

"Diamond dust!"

"Diamond dust..."

#

"Odd Squad, you try the front way," Batman ordered. "Robin and I will Bat-climb to the roof."

He produced a line of rope hooked to a Batarang. "Stand clear!"

Robin jumped back, throwing his arms out in a dramatic pose. Olive forced herself not to face-palm.

Batman hurled the Batarang. It hooked onto the roof. After testing the rope to make sure the grip was secure, he started up the wall, Robin following.

Odd Squad, meanwhile, went through the revolving door into the airport terminal lounge.

"Creepy..." Otto muttered. "There doesn't seem to be anyone here..."

"Wait! There's someone!" Ms. O pointed to a young woman in a uniform crumpled behind an information desk. The agents ran over.

Olive examined the woman as best she could. "She seems to be unconscious!"

Oscar looked around, nose twitching. "What diabolical force could Odd Todd have unleashed upon her?"

Olive glared at Oscar and was about to say something when the airport public address system clicked on.

"What's that?" Ms. O listened to the strange noises that began to billow from the speakers. "Some sort of ultra-sonic weapon?"

"No!" Oscar gasped. "It's... It's... Good heavens, it's... HEINO'S GREATEST HITS!"

The four Odd Squad agents covered their ears against the onslaught. As the Teutonic superstar known in his home country as 'The German Elvis' performed his unique blend of yodeling, folk music, polka, and country-western songs, the team began, one by one, to fall.

#

Batman and Robin, meanwhile, continued their climb.

"Gosh, Batman!" Robin struggled to keep his footing against the sheer wall of the terminal. "What if Odd Todd completes his spell? What then?"

"It's... hardly a 'spell,' Robin," Batman corrected. "True, the ancient alchemists as voodoun priests might have believed they were performing magic. However, when their secrets are exposed to the cold light of day, there's always a rational explanation for their so-called 'miracles.'"

"Golly, Batman!" Robin shook his head. "You're right! I shouldn't let myself be blinded by superstition and ignorance!"

"It's certainly understandable to be apprehensive in a situation like this," Batman said calmly. "However, it's important to remember witchcraft and sorcery are products of a pre-scientific age. In modern times, we must trust to reason and skepticism."

Just then, a window opened slightly above the two heroes.

"Batman? Robin?" Agent O'Donahue leaned out to look at them. "Wow! I was hoping I'd run into you guys! Was kinda hoping more for the Christian Bale version, but still..."

"Hello, Agent!" Batman saluted. "Still working with Ms. O?"

"Off and on," O'Donahue smiled. "I'm a free agent. I go where the wind takes me." He looked over his shoulder. "Great to meet you both, but I've got a Yeti we're shipping back to headquarters and he..." There was a growl and the sound of wood splintering. "Gotta go, guys! Catch ya later!" The window banged shut.

Robin was confused. "Gee, Batman! Who was that?"

"Another Odd Squad agent, Robin." Batman smiled. "It's remarkable the sort of people one runs into when climbing buildings..."

#

"And a pinch of sulfur to give it body..."

Odd Todd sprinkled some powder into the potion. Then he noticed the Batarang hooked against the railing.

"Get the rocket ready, willya, Tilya?" Todd rose to his feet. "I gotta take care of something..."

Nonchalantly, he walked over, unhooked the Batarang, and let it drop.

"Can't believe no one ever thought of that..."

#

"KARAMBA, KARACHO, EIN WHISKY!" The voice boomed out over the public address system. "KARAMBA, KARACHO, EIN GIN!"

The agents writhed on the floor, hands over their ears, trying to block out the cacophony.

"EN RIO DE JANERRRRRRRRRRIO..."

Slowly, one agent rose. Concentrating mightily, she slowly staggered over to the speaker-box.

"FREUNDE HEUT WIRD'S EIN LANGE NACHT, WAEL WIR ALTE KAMERADE SIND..."

With a sudden, forceful move, she switched off the system. The deafening music cut off in mid-yodel. The agents cautiously lowered their hands.

"Olive?" Otto stumbled to his feet, still dazed from the onslaught.

Oscar's mouth opened and closed. "But how did you... How did you... How did you...?"

"It just so happens I enjoy the occasional Teutonic polka." Olive straightened her tie.

Otto reeled back in shock. "I... It's like I don't know you anymore..."

Ms. O shook her head, trying to dispel the ringing in her ears. "Come on, agents! Let's go stop Odd Todd!" Then she blinked. "Has... anyone seen Batgirl?"

#

"Thanks, Agent O'Donahue!"

"Wow! He grabbed the Batarang just in time!"

"Yeah..." Agent O'Donahue wheezed, clinging to the Batrope and bracing himself against the window. Below him, the two heroes dangled in the air. "But... Could you guys hurry up and...?"

"Oh. Yes, of course. Sorry, Agent."

Batman quickly pulled himself up to the window, helping Robin along after him. red-faced and gasping, O'Donahue let go of the rope.

"Oh..." He clenched and unclenched his hands. "Oh, ow..."

"Good work, agent!" Batman slapped him on the back. O'Donahue glared at him as he raced past. "Come, Robin! Let's Bat-race up the stairs!"

"I'm with you, Batman!" He ran after him, then paused a second, looking around. "Hey, has anyone seen Batgirl?"

O'Donahue ran to the window and nervously peered down. "Nope..." He sighed with relief as the heroes vanished up the stairs.

#

Batgirl slipped through the maintenance door onto the roof. A few feet away, Odd Todd was putting the finishing touches on his rocket.

"Okay, we've got the flaming skull... And the zombie..." He skimmed over the page of decals that came with the rocket set. "Any frogs? Frogs would be so cool..."

Striking a pose, she announced herself. "The only frogs you'll be seeing, Odd Todd, will be in the prison rockpile!"

Todd motioned to Tilya. "Get her!" Then he sat back on his haunches. "They have a prison rockpile? Where they break rocks up with mallets? Still? I thought that was just in old Bugs Bunny cartoons..."

Tilya circled warily. "Okay... There's noplace up here where you can pull out any more vases..." She edged toward her. "At least I hope there ain't..."

She lunged. Batgirl dodged, swirling her cape, and pirouetted on one foot.

Sighing, Odd Todd pulled a sack out of his pocket.

"My marbles!" He grinned. "How about that? I thought I'd lost them!"

He threw the sack at Batgirl, spilling the marbles all over the ground. Spinning, the heroine's feet slipped on the tiny spheres and she fell to the ground.

"Finally!" Producing a switchblade, Tilya stood over the dazed Batgirl. "No more twirling for you, Batgirl! I'm gonna..."

"Ah!" She was surprised by a hand grabbing her wrist and twisting just hard enough to make her drop the knife. "Ah ah ah ah! Ah! Ahem!" Oscar grabbed her other wrist and struggled to hold her while his compatriots rushed after him onto the roof. "Your campaign of terror is over, Miss... Miss..." Oscar puzzled. "I'm sorry, I can't say I caught your name or..."

Tilya started to push him away, then stopped, staring at him. "I can't!" She shook her head. "I just can't! I'm sorry! It'd be like punching a puppy!"

Odd Todd fumed. "What IS this with all the girls falling for Oscar? I mean, come ON, he's OSCAR!"

"Never mind that, Todd!" Batman and Robin made their dramatic entrance through another door. The villains were surrounded.

"Yeah!" Robin pointed a finger. "Oscar's right! Your campaign of terror's..."

Todd hit a button. His model rocket shot up into the air. Several miles up, it exploded, scattering a strange, glittering powder into the clouds.

"Uh-oh..."

The heroes all watched as storm clouds suddenly appeared, dark, pendulous, and oddly green.

"What... What...?"

There was a thunderclap. The clouds blocked the sun, turning the sky to twilight. Then something fell to the ground with a wet splat.

Otto, Olive, Oscar, Ms. O, Batman, Batgirl, and Robin felt themselves being pelted by small, soft missiles plummeting from overhead.

"It's... It's FROGS!"

The frogs fell to Earth, bouncing off the heroes' heads, dropping to the ground, dazed, then hopping off. They started as a trickle, then increased to a torrent, covering the roof with wet, wriggling forms.

Odd Todd leapt to his feet. "A RAIN OF FROGS OVER GOTHAM CITY! HOW GLORIOUSLY ODD!" He laughed triumphantly at the startled heroes, his eyes gleaming with deranged joy. "Don't you see? I've won! I'VE WON! EEEEEHAHAHAHAHAH!"

#


	12. Chapter 12

"Yes, Mayor Linseed. Of course, Mayor Linseed. We'll do all we can."

Commissioner Gordon hung up the phone. Walking across his office, he gazed mournfully at the frogs plummeting down past his window a moment before Chief O'Hara came in.

"How are your men coping, Chief?"

"Well, we're doin' our best to keep order, Commissioner. But things're getting bad. People are trying to get out of the city, but traffic's at a dead halt. Cars are all over the road. Driving, even walking, is becomin' treacherous. Power lines are down and some buildings have collapsed from the weight of the frogs pilin' up on their roofs. The little monsters 've gotten into people's homes. A lot of property is infested. There's concern the entire Gotham City water supply is contaminated. A lot of folks are panicking. If something doesn't happen soon, we'll have a full-scale disaster on our hands."

Steepling his fingers before his pained face, Commissioner Gordon nodded.

"Commissioner..." Chief O'Hara almost whispered as he walked over to the older man. "You know I don't ask this lightly, but is it possible..." He put his hand on the Commissioner's shoulder. "It is possible Batman has failed us?"

Commissioner Gordon winced. "I... don't know, Chief O'Hara. I just don't know. If he has..." He rolled his eyes skyward. "Heaven help us all..."

#

"It's like the end of the world..."

Aunt Harriet peered out from the behind the curtains of the picture window of stately Wayne Manor. Behind her, Bruce Wayne's faithful butler Alfred was lighting candles.

"Oh, I so wish Bruce and Dick were here. They'd know what to do." She wrung her handkerchief. "I _worry_ about them, out in weather like this..."

Alfred looked up. "I'm sure they're taking every precaution, madam."

She watched the frogs pile up on the lawn outside. "Oh, our after-grass will never be the same..." She looked down at the frogs pressing against the window-glass, shuddered, and turned away. "I'll bet that dreadful little 'Odd Todd' is behind all this!"

Alfred nodded. "I would believe so, madam."

"What a shame. Such a nice-looking little boy, too... If he just had a haircut and a decent sports-jacket..." Aunt Harriet paced. "Oh, Alfred, what is wrong with the youth of today?"

"I'm certain I wouldn't know, madam."

"Still, there are those lovely Odd Squad children..." She walked back to the window. "But what can children do against something like this?"

Alfred half-smiled. "You'd be surprised, madam."

#

Agent Oren sat in a diner watching the frogs fall while he ate his cheese sandwich.

"Well, this sucks..."

#

"IT's RAAAAAAINING FROGS! HALLEUJAH, IT'S RAINING FROGS!"

Odd Todd danced around the roof of the Gotham City Airport, frogs falling all around him. The heroes stared in horror.

"What are we going to do?" Batgirl whispered. "This is awful!"

"Yeah," Otto nodded sagely. "He definitely should not twerk."

Olive turned anxiously to Odd Squad's resident scientist. "Oscar! Do you have a gadget that can fix this?"

No response.

"Oscar! Do you have a gadget that can _fix_ this?"

No response.

"Oscar!"

Very low: "I don't look like a _puppy..._ "

"OSCAR!" Oscar started. "Do you have a gadget that can fix this?"

"I... Well..." Oscar opened his coat and looked inside. "I never really expected anything like this to actually happen. I mean, I've seen _Magnolia,_ but..."

"EEEEHAHAHAHAHAH!" Odd Todd reared back, gloating. "EEEHA...URK!" He gulped as a frog fell directly into his open mouth. Grimacing, he choked, swallowed, then grinned. "Tastes like sushi!"

"You little _fiend!_ " Batman hissed at Todd, frogs bouncing off his cowl. "How do we stop this... this... amphibian deluge?"

"Hey, I don't know how!" Odd Todd cackled. "There's nothing about that in the book! So it's just going to have to keep raining frogs... FOREVER! EEEEHAHAHAHAH!"

Robin's eyes narrowed. "Why are you even doing this?"

Odd Todd smiled. "Do you ask the snake why he bites? Do you ask the scorpion why he stings?"

"Of course not!" Otto answered, dodging frogs. "The Scorpion's a Marvel villain!"

Just then, Batman's mini-Batphone rang. "Yes, Commissioner?" Pause. "The Joker escaped in the confusion?"

"Good idea!" Nodding to Tilya, Todd took off running across the roof while Tilya raced in the opposite direction. Olive took off after him. Otto started to follow but Batman held him back.

"No, son." He said solemnly. "This is one battle your partner must face alone."

Otto looked up at him. "Why?"

Batman thought a moment. "Good point. Come on, let's go, then."

"No, wait!" Ms. O held up her hand. "Olive can handle Odd Todd! I need the rest of you to help me get some things!"

"Get you some things?" Oscar blinked. "Righty-ho!" He paused in mid-step. "Why?"

Ms. O looked grim. "So I can make an antidote."

#

Slipping and skidding, Odd Todd raced across the roof of the airport terminal, frogs raining all around him. Olive was in hot pursuit. The wind was starting to pick up. Besides the difficulty running on the frog-covered ground, they were also being blown off-balance.

Todd reached the edge of the roof, climbed up onto the ledge overlooking some trees, and looked around for somewhere else he could go. There was nowhere else he could go. There were no other buildings nearby and it was a several-story drop to the ground.

"Give up, Todd!" Olive walked toward him. "You're trapped!"

"Never!" Todd rose to his full height, teetered a bit, and struggled to maintain his balance. "Oddness will prevail!" The wind caught his jacket and he nearly fell.

"Todd!" Olive edged toward him. "Please! Just surrender!" He took another step toward him. "I promise everyone at Odd Squad will do all we can to cure you of your oddness!"

"Be my partner!" He grinned balefully at her.

She shuddered. "Anything... except that!" Todd scowled at her. "Otto's my partner now!"

"Otto!" Todd snorted, rolling his eyes. Then he brightened. "I know! Let's kill him!"

"WHAT?"

"Painlessly, of course!" Odd Todd added quickly. "Well, y'know, he is kind of a drag with his 'BOOM-this-a-lotta' and 'BOOM-that-a-lotta...'"

"Todd, what is WRONG with you?"

Before Todd could come up with a snide reply, a gust of wind caught him off-balance. He stumbled, waving his arms.

"N-NO! NOOOO!"

His foot slipped and he fell off the roof. "YAAAAAAAH!"

"TODD!" Olive forced her way through the frog-storm to look over the ledge. Unable to see clearly through the hail of frogs, she turned and stumbled toward the door leading downstairs.

#

"YAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

Odd Todd plummeted, kicking and pinwheeling, frogs pelting him as he fell.

Then he landed safely in some leafy tree branches.

Then he fell through them.

He plummeted another story or two, into another group of branches, then one more, slipping and grasping frantically, babbling gibberish. He fell through those too, but the combined result broke his fall just enough so that he was neither killed nor seriously injured when he belly-flopped onto the ground.

"WHOOF!"

It did, however, hurt a LOT. It hurt much more when he tried to get up so he decided to lay still a moment until he could catch his breath. He was a mess, scratched and scraped, his suit disheveled, ripped, covered with twigs and leaves and frog gunk. One shoe was missing. He looked up to see it hanging directly overhead, just before the branch snapped, dropping the shoe square on his nose.

"OW!"

He grabbed for the shoe, felt another bolt of pain, and resolved to keep still just a little while longer.

Then he saw someone standing over him.

"Well, this is convenient..."

He looked up into a gun barrel. The Joker sneered down at him.

"Hello, former partner..."

#

"More chives! Someone get me some potassium chloride!"

The agents scrambled around searching the airport for supplies. Batman and Robin had broken open several capsules from their utility belts, adding phosphorous to the mixture Ms. O had simmering on Odd Todd's hotplate, which she'd taken indoors and set on the ticket counter.

"Gosh," Robin whispered to his mentor. "Are you sure she knows what she's doing?"

Overhearing him, Ms. O shot him a look. "I ALWAYS know what I'm doing!"

"She always knows what she's doing," Batman nodded. "Besides, we have few other options."

"But... But..." Otto hurried over with a jar of pickles and some cornbread. "I thought there wasn't an antidote to the frog-storm..."

"There wasn't one written down in that book Todd stole," Ms. O responded. "But that doesn't mean there isn't one."

"Hey, Ms. O!" Oscar popped up. "Here's a thermometer, a chocolate chip cookie, and some tuna!" He handed her the stuff, then hesitated. "It's in water. I also got some in oil if that's..."

"It isn't," She twisted open the can with her bare hands.

"I got you Bumblebee Brand Tuna because it was on sale but they also had Chicken of the Sea. You know," He started singing. "'Ask Any Mermaid You Happen To See, What's The Best Tuna, Chicken of The Sea...'" His brow furrowed. "You know, that always puzzled me. I mean, I'd have a LOT of questions for a mermaid but they'd be more general stuff, you know, about mermaid civilization and living underwater and what do they do for heat since there's no fire underwater and such... Well, you know, aside from on _SpongeBob Squarepants,_ but they reference that on one episode..."

Ms. O glared at him. "Oscar..."

"Actually, I doubt if tuna would even come up until the third or fourth conversation at the earliest..."

"Oscar..."

"And even then, I doubt she'd be familiar with brand names..."

"OSCAR!"

Oscar jumped. "I'll... go look for more stuff..."

"Good idea," Ms. O growled.

#

Meanwhile, Olive was trying to force a side door open against gale force winds.

"TODD! TODD, ARE YOU OUT HERE?" Frogs slapped against the door. "TODD!"

#

Ms. O wiped her brow and looked around, discouraged. Otto froze in mid-step, looking over anxiously.

"It's no use," she sighed. "I need some powdered rhinoceros horn, a vial of dog's blood, a emu feather, and three hairs from a newborn alpaca."

"Will these do?" Popping up out of nowhere, Oscar handed her a packet of powdered rhinoceros horn, an emu feather, and a vial of dog's blood. He knelt down, removed his left shoe, slipped off a false sole to reveal a hidden compartment, flipped through a collection of neatly labeled animal hair taped to index cards, and handed one to Ms. O.

"Thanks, Oscar." She added them to the potion as Otto did a double-take.

"You _carry around_ powdered rhinoceros horn, emu feathers, dog's blood, and alpaca hair?"

"Look," Oscar grabbed Otto's lapels. "Do I ask _you_ about _your_ hobbies?"

The potion hissed and bubbled. Ms. O removed a gold earring and dipped it in the potion. It turned to lead. She nodded and turned to Batman.

"Get the Bat-zooka."

#

Olive managed to push the door open just enough to see a figure sprawled across the ground.

"Oh..."

A frog slapped against her face, startling her enough to make her lose her grip on the door. It slammed shut again.

#

The sky was a deep, greenish purple, red lightning crackling between swirling black clouds. Batman, Robin, and Ms. O struggled to walk across the rain-slick roof in the freezing wind.

"Holy nightmare!" Robin stared up at the surreal, pulsing sky. "What did Odd Todd _do?_ "

"What's important is whether we can un-do it." Ms. O braced herself, shielding her eyes so she could see. "Hand me the Bat-zooka."

Ceremoniously, Batman handed Ms. O the weapon. A few moments prior, they'd poured the potion into a napkin, tied it tight, and stuffed it in the Bat-zooka.

"We've only got one chance..." Batman cautioned, wrapping his arm's around the girl's waist to hold her steady. Back inside, Oscar and Otto were struggling to see through the window.

Ms. O hefted the Bat-zooka to her shoulder, struggling to aim. "If I can just get a clear shot..."

She fired. The little napkin flew into the sky and exploded.

Robin swallowed. "Did it... Did it work or...?"

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the sky turned dark blue again, the black clouds dispersing. The rain of frogs slowed, then stopped.

"I... I think..."

The wind reversed, then stopped. The frogs littering the roof dissolved into goo which quickly evaporated in the summer sun.

"We did it!" Robin cheered. "WE DID IT!"

Otto and Oscar ran out to join the others as they celebrated, Batman hefting Ms. O aloft in his arms.

"Now if Olive's managed to catch Odd Todd..."

Ms. O's badge phone rang. "Go for O!" Pause. "What?" She looked at the others. "Downstairs! Now!"

#


	13. Chapter 13

And the wind was gone. Just like that. The wind was gone, the frogs were gone, and Olive could push open the door. She opened it just enough to see The Joker standing over a dazed, prostrate Odd Todd.

"What a wonderfully whimsical stroke of luck," The Clown Prince of Crime chuckled as he leveled his gun at Todd. "Right in the middle of this ridiculous frog-storm, I stumble over my naughty little ex-pupil turned traitor..."

Olive swallowed, trying to think. Todd was attempting to move but he was in obvious pain. She had no idea how badly hurt he was. He was staring up at The Joker, completely out of tricks, trying to come up with something.

"Joker... Buddy..." He couldn't stop his voice from shaking.

The Joker's vicious smile widened.

"And now, you're getting expelled... For good! OW!"

The batarang knocked the gun out of The Joker's hand. He spun around to find Batgirl striking a pose.

"I think both of you need some detention time... At Gotham State Penitentiary!"

"DRAT!" The Joker looked around and broke into a run. "DRAT, DRAT, DRAT!"

Gathering her cape, Batgirl leapt over Odd Todd and ran after him.

Darting out of the building, Olive dashed across the grass.

"Todd!" She shouted as she ran past. "We'll be back for you later!"

Todd managed a smirk. "I'll be counting the seconds, my darling."

Olive grimaced. He wasn't that badly hurt.

The Joker was fleeing, Batgirl close on his heels. Olive cut across the parking lot, getting slightly ahead of both adults. Gritting her teeth, she ran toward The Joker while he was looking back at the Dominoed Daredoll. Flinging herself the remaining distance, she tackled him and knocked him to the ground.

"What?" He struggled. "ODD SQUAD? You little..."

"Ah-ah, Joker!" Batgirl grabbed his wrists. "No bad language in front of the kids!"

Producing a pair of Bat-cuffs, she snapped them on the villain.

"DRAT!" The Joker fumed. "DRAT DRAT DRAT DRAT DRAT!"

"That's him taken care of," Olive nodded. "Now all we have to do is collect Odd To..."

They looked back under the tree. Odd Todd was gone.

Sighing, Olive pressed her badge phone. "I'd better call the others..."

#

"Ah-HAH! Just as I thought!" Batman pointed to some crushed grass along the ground. "Somebody dragged Odd Todd away while you and Batgirl were distracted!"

"Tilya, no doubt!" Robin punched his palm. "Let's go after them!"

"No, Robin!" Batman restrained his young partner. "I don't think that will be necessary."

Robin blinked. "But... But why?"

"Odd Todd's finished," Ms. O explained, sipping a juice. "He knows it's too dangerous for him in Gotham with the Joker after him. Most likely, he'll be heading home."

Otto nodded. "Where we'll take care of him!"

Olive sighed. "Unfortunately."

"Ohhhhhh... Piffle!" The Joker raged, struggling in his handcuffs as Chief O'Hara led him away. "I almost had it! The secret of immortality, almost within my grasp!"

Ms. O shook her head. "You wouldn't have liked it."

The Joker stared at her. "Oh no? How so?"

"The way that spell works, you'd age backwards until you reached infancy. Then you'd start aging forwards until you were your current age again. Then you'd age backwards again." She sipped her juice box. "It goes back and forth like that, forever. More trouble than it's worth, really..."

"Hrr!" The Joker snorted. "That's _your_ opinion!"

"C'mon, Joker," The Chief pushed him forward towards the paddy-wagon. "Where you're goin', you'll be glad you ain't immortal..."

As Odd Squad watched the villain being taken away, Robin motioned to his mentor.

"Gosh, Batman!" He stared at Ms. O. "How could she know that? And how did she know the spell that stopped the frog-rain?" His eyes widened. "Holy elixir of youth! Is it possible _she's..."_

"It's... never polite to ask a lady's age, Robin," Batman smiled.

Shrugging, Robin headed to the car. Ms. O walked over to the caped crusader.

"Your team did an excellent job, Ms. O. They should all be congratulated."

"Your team did a great job as well... Agent Osprey."

She smiled at Batman's discomfiture. "I... didn't think you'd remember."

"How could I forget one of the best agents we ever had?" Her smile faded a little. "Not to mention the only one who insisted on wearing a mask..." She sighed. "I just wish we could have done more for you..."

"On the contrary," Batman responded. "Your training helped make me the crimefighter I am today."

"I'm glad we could help."

They both quickly switched gears as Commissioner Gordon approached.

"Batman, Ms. O, so glad I caught you both together! One of one leading citizens, Mrs. Harriet Cooper, just called from Stately Wayne Manor asking if you could all drop by for a celebratory tea after we finish up here. Would that be possible?"

"I'm sure Odd Squad will be happy to attend, Commissioner!" Batman said brightly. Ms. O nodded in agreement. "And Robin and I shall try to put in an appearance."

"Of course, Batman, of course!" The Commissioner nodded. "I understand how busy you must be!" He turned slightly. "And Batgirl? Would you like to...?" He looked around. "Batgirl?" He gasped. "She's gone again!"

"Yet I've a feeling she'll turn up again when she's needed," Batman said sagely.

"What's this about tea?" Barbara Gordon emerged from a nearby sidedoor.

"Barbara!" Commissioner Gordon exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Barbara adjusted her bulging purse. "Oh, I was just coming by to assure Odd Squad Marie LeVeau's spellbook is safely under lock and key back at the Gotham City Library. So I don't think there'll be any more witchcraft-related robberies for awhile! But what about this celebratory tea? Would it be all right if I tagged along?"

#

Later, at Wayne Manor, Aunt Harriet poured Ms. O a fresh cup of tea.

"Thank you all _so_ much for saving Gotham City, Odd Squad!"

"Just doing our job, ma'am!" Otto said around a piece of cake.

"Aye, an' an excellent job ye did, lad!" Chief O'Hara beamed at the kids. "I gotta admit, I thought you all were a bit barmy at first, but ye certainly proved yourselves!"

"Not a problem, sir!" Otto smiled, then leaned over to whisper to Olive. "What does 'barmy' mean?"

Olive took another cookie to avoid answering.

"Still, I can't help worrying about Odd Todd," Batman paced solemnly in front of the fireplace. "He came dangerously close to destroying Gotham City and almost got himself killed."

"I agree," Ms. O sipped her tea. "We're going to have to do something about him. His vendetta has gotten completely out of hand."

Robin bounced on his toes. "Perhaps after his experience with the Joker, he's finally learned his lesson!"

"I wouldn't count on it," Olive sighed. "We might have to come up with something even more drastic. He has to realize this isn't a game."

"Well, best of luck," Commissioner Gordon sighed. "Perhaps Warden Crichton might have some ideas. He's a real bug for innovative rehabilitation techniques." He sipped his tea. "It was his idea to let our super-criminals retain their costumes in prison as a reward for good behavior..."

The Odd Squad agents exchanged looks.

Barbara leaned forward. "Actually, that's something I've wondered about. Does Odd Todd have just the one suit or...?"

The Odd Squad agents quietly tried to come up with an answer for that until Batman broke the tension.

"Well!" He set down his teacup. "This has been most enjoyable." He took Aunt Harriet's hand. "And it's always a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Cooper. But I fear it's time for Robin and I to go."

"That's right!" Robin added with a weird enthusiasm. "Crime doesn't take teabreaks!"

"Oh..." Aunt Harriet smiled. "Well... Goodbye! Thanks for coming!"

The caped crusaders raced from the room. Aunt Harriet collected the two heroes' cups, beaming.

"My goodness! Batman and Robin at our humble home! Won't the bridge club be surprised!"

"Surprised about what, Aunt Harriet?" Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson sauntered into the room. Alfred poured them each a fresh cup.

"Batman and Robin! And Odd Squad!" She pressed her hand against her cheek, gasping. "Oh, I should have gotten a picture..."

Bruce and Dick exchanged looks.

"It... might not be too late..."

"We'll see if we can catch them..."

They ran back out of the room. Moments later, Batman and Robin reappeared.

"Mister Wayne said you wanted a photo with us, Mrs. Cooper?"

"Oh, yes! Yes, thank you! Oh, I'm such a silly goose for not thinking about it earlier, but..." She fiddled with the little camera she'd just picked up. "Oh dear! I'm just not handy with these new-fangled gadgets! Oh, where's Bruce? He's the one who understands these things..."

Batman and Robin exchanged looks. "I... think he said he had to stop in the study for something..."

Robin nodded. "Wait here. We'll see if we can find them..."

The caped crusaders ran out of the room. Moments later, Bruce and Dick returned. Olive looked from them to Aunt Harriet to Commissioner Gordon to Chief O'Hara to Barbara Gordon in mounting disbelief. Alfred discreetly continued pouring tea.

"...And you press this little button here," Bruce handed the camera back to Aunt Harriet. "That's all there is to it."

"Thank you, Bruce. I'm certain I'd be lost without you..." She looked around. "But now where are Batman and Robin?"

Bruce and Dick exchanged looks. "There..."

Dick piped in. "There was an article in a magazine we needed to show them. In the study. Wait here..." Olive mouthed the next seven words along with them. "We'll see if we can find them..."

The two hurried out of the room. Olive counted silently to herself A moment later, Batman and Robin returned.

"Yes. Very interesting article about crime prevention. Now, about that picture..."

"Oh my, yes..." Aunt Harriet looked doubtfully at the camera. "Now if I can just remember everything Bruce said... Oh wait, I wanted to be in the picture. I wonder if Bruce or Dick could..."

Finally, Olive exploded. "HOW ARE YOU NOT _GETTING_ THIS?"

Aunt Harriet, Commissioner Gordon, Barbara Gordon, and Chief O'Hara turned to her, confused. "Getting what, dear?"

Ms. O touched Olive's arm. "Just play along. It makes them happy." She held her hand out to Aunt Harriet. "Here, I'll take the picture..."

She'd just finished snapping the photo when Oscar wandered in, rubbing his hand and wincing. "Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, I had to do something..."

Aunt Harriet bustled over to him. "Could I get a photo with you too?" Oscar nodded and Ms. O snapped the picture. "Oh, you're all just so ADORABLE..."

Oscar froze. "You're... not going to get weird, are you?"

"What?"

Olive shook her head. "Never mind." She motioned for Oscar to sit down, then noticed him massaging his hand. "What's wrong, did you hurt yourself?"

"Yeah..." He sat down. "I stopped off at the lab to make sure all the spider-cats had been rounded up. One had gotten loose, I found him by the atomic reactor, he managed to bite me before I could get him to the lab for examination. I'm pretty sure he might've gotten radiation sickness..."

Otto gasped. "You were bitten by a radioactive spider-cat?"

"Yeah," Oscar winced. "I did the treatments and everything but it's still really throbbing and I..." He blinked. "I..." He convulsed, vomiting a spray of webbing from his mouth onto the coffee table.

"OSCAR!"

"Sorry, ma'am!" He smiled apologetically at Aunt Harriet as he stumbled up out of his chair. "Hold on, I'll try to clean it up..."

He walked across the room into the wall, and to his and everyone else's amazement, right straight up it.

Aunt Harriet gaped at him crossing the ceiling. "Land's sakes!"

Ms. O shook her head. "This can't possibly end well..."

Doctor O popped up unobtrusively from behind the couch. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that's only temporary..."

Olive, Otto, Batman, and Robin exchanged looks.

"So..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

THUD.

Doctor O nodded. "Just like I figured. Temporary."


End file.
